Clichés abound in pro sports locker rooms. Overheard this week in Denver- Defensive Lineman Gerard Warren: “There’s plenty of time to get it back on track. It’s an up and down season. It just happens that we’re climbing up a hill right now.” Defensive Lineman Kenard Lang also chimed in: “Every game is a must-win to me. …you don’t want to get behind the eight-ball.”

With so many clichés spewing forth, it’s only a matter of time before metaphors and clichés get mixed up in an eargasmic treat of communicative delight. First came San Francisco Cornerback Walt Harris recounting his resurgence after a journeyman season in the NFL: “I’ve always had confidence in myself. I’m just seeing the fruits of what I’ve felt internally.” Hey Walt- good game, but keep the fruits in your pants.

Then this one. Dallas’ Defensive End Marcus Spears (no relation to Brittany) on the teams recent success: “I think the magnitude of what we can do now and how we can set ourselves up in the future and hopefully getting into the playoffs, I think it’s important and it’s prevalent. The air is thick right now.” Marcus- I’ll give you a few minutes to look up “prevalent” in the dictionary. After that, you and I can discuss why the air in Dallas is suddenly denser. Maybe someone should alert Al Gore. I smell a documentary.

Cowboy’s Cornerback Aaron Glenn continued (in reference to the Cowboy’s probable playoff run): “It’s almost like guys are smelling it. Last year, it was almost like, ‘Wow’ that we’re in it. This year, all the guys expect to be in it. That’s different, expecting it then when it jumps on like ‘Wow’,” OK- I’m seeing a trend in Dallas, there’s something that people are stepping in, it smells, and it’s making the air thick. Screw Al Gore, somebody call Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dustin Hoffman.

Finally, Atlanta Falcon’s Receivers Coach George Stewart on their pass-catching issues: “For anything to grow, it has to die.”

Ahhh… the circle of life.

Source: AP Newswire

Finally, Atlanta Falcon’s Receivers Coach George Stewart on their pass-catching issues: “For anything to grow, it has to die.”

Ahhh… the circle of life.

Source: AP Newswire

Dateline: South Bend

Tired of the ridiculous bias toward Notre Dame in college football polls as well as bowl pairings, I decided to take a walk down memory lane. Surely historical evidence over the last three years supports the 5 poll spots they get boosted each week and the absurd fact that they continue to be mentioned in BCS bowl conversations. Wins over quality opponents must justify the favoritism they receive so let’s start piling those babies up.

2003 was a rough year- Notre Dame finished 5-7 but still managed a win over a quality opponent in 10-3 Washington State. 2004 saw the Irish finishing with a 6-6 record but two quality wins on the record- an 8-point win over 9-3 Michigan and a 4-point win over 10-3 Tennessee. 2005 was Charlie Weis’ first year at the helm and a great rebound for ND (as was widely reported), they must have taken down some very strong opponents… Nope. Not a single win over a team from a BCS conference that finished with 3 or fewer losses. Surely 2006 is different, right? Not much. The only quality win this year is over Georgia Tech who at the moment is 9-3. In case you didn’t graduate from Notre Dame, that adds up to four “quality” wins over the last four seasons.

Even with only the four quality wins, they’re still Notre Dame. They’re still deserving of the leniency they’re granted in the polls and the massive $$’s that come their way from BCS Bowls. Not quite. A quick look at the records shows they’re almost there. With just one more quality win, they’ll be . Iowa has scored wins over 9-3 Minnesota (2003), 9-3 Michigan (2003), 9-3 LSU (2004), 9-3 Wisconsin (2004) and 10-3 Wisconsin (2005). That’s one more than ND.

Don’t fret golden Domers, you’re only two quality wins away from being Virginia Tech. The Hokies have put together quality wins over 11-2 U. of Miami (2003), 9-3 U. of Miami (2004), 9-3 Louisville (2005), 9-3 Boston College (2005), 11-1 West Virginia (2005), and 10-2 Wake Forest (2006). In likely two more seasons, Notre Dame can scale the massive heights the Va. Tech program has.

Maybe it’s just the way the schedule has worked out. Maybe Notre Dame’s schedule hasn’t afforded them the opportunity to pick up any more quality wins. Try again. In that same time frame (2003-2006), Notre Dame lost to 8 quality opponents. I’ve already established I didn’t go to Notre Dame, but I’m pretty sure that’s a 4-8 record against quality opponents over the last four years. I’m also pretty sure that sucks.

But bowl games is where they’ve shined, right? Sure they get preferential treatment come bowl selections, but they show up and dominate whomever they play.

Wrong again.

Notre Dame has lost four bowl games in a row by an average score of 35-15.

So please, I beg you Mr.Mrs. BCS Selection Committee person, keep Notre Dame out of the BCS so they can win the Life Cereal Bowl and focus on becoming Iowa, or better still, Virginia Tech.