Special Guest Contributor Mark O. checks back in with his synopsis and review of the latest installment in the Rocky Sextology- “Rocky Balboa.†Please note: no over-the-hill actors were harmed in the making of this movie or this review.
The earliest showing of “Rocky Balboa†within 50 miles of my home was at 11:40 AM, so there I was. No popcorn or anything like that, too early and can’t afford any distractions. Be just my luck to dump my $6.50 Mega-Ultra-Grande Pepsi in my lap during the big fight scene!
Warning! While I will not reveal the ending I will discuss some specific plot elements and characters. If you don’t want to know any of this stuff stop reading now! Just go see the movie and make up your own mind about it. Who really cares what I think anyhow?
For the rest of you who have nothing better to do than listen to me, here you go.
In “Rocky Balboa†we meet the post-Adrian Rocky. Adrian has died of cancer and Rocky is struggling to move on with his life. He’s moved back to the old neighborhood, lives with Paulie (Burt Young) in a little South Philly row house, and runs his aptly named restaurant, Adrian’s.
He’s searching for someone or something to make his life worth living again. Initially he finds that when he meets Marie (Geraldine Hughes) tending bar at one of his old haunts. Turns out she’s the grown up “Little Marie†that Rocky tried to help out with a life lesson in the first “Rocky.†She’s now a single mom working to make ends meet in the old neighborhood. In one of the film’s more humorous moments, Rocky meets her son and he’s surprised to see that he is multi-ethnic. When he asks about this Marie tells him his father was Jamaican, to which Rocky replies “Jamaica? European, nice.†Oh Rocky, Rocky, Rocky.
The other struggle in Rocky’s life is trying to stay connected with his grown son Robert (Milo Ventimiglia). Robert is trying to make it on his own in the business world but as he tells his father “You cast a pretty big shadow.†Rocky takes Marie’s boy under his wing, gives Marie a job at his restaurant, but still feels like something is missing.
He decides that what he wants to do is fight again. “Nothing big, just local.†This plays right into the slimy hands of the current heavyweight champ’s handlers. Mason “The Line†Dixon (real-life light heavyweight Antonio Tarver) is the undisputed heavyweight champ but is struggling with a “no heart†image and no worthy opponents to fight. Sounds a little like Stallone is making a comment on the real boxing world these days, huh?
Anyhow, thanks to the media frenzy created by an ESPN computer simulated fight between the former champ and the current champ, where ESPN concludes that Rocky would win if they fought, Rocky is convinced to take on Dixon in an exhibition match in Vegas. So now we get the obligatory training scenes…running through the streets of Philly, lifting everything from dumbbells to beer kegs to lengths of steel chain, and of course the one-handed pushups.
In one of the movies most touching scenes, Marie comes to Rocky on the night before the fight and gives him a picture of Adrian that she brought from the restaurant for good luck. The fight itself is a montage of typical “Rocky†movie filming… blood, sweat and Sly’s lips flying everywhere, mixed with flashbacks and memories that float through Rocky’s punch-drunk brain. Rocky is fighting to once-and-for-all exorcise his inner demons and Dixon is fighting to prove he has heart and win the approval of the fans. The actual outcome of the fight isn’t really important to the plot, just like it wasn’t important at the end of the original “Rocky.†That said, I’m not going to spoil it for you here- you’ll have to fork over the $36.50 to see it for yourself.
OK, enough of the summary, now for the “review.â€
Did I like the movie…yes.
Was there too much product placement in the film…yes. (Editor’s note: please tell me the George Foreman Grill made an appearance either in the restaurant or during a training scene!)
Was the cameo by Mike Tyson hilarious…yes. Will it win any Oscars…no.
What this movie is is a good finish to the story that started 30 years ago. What it isn’t is a movie that will earn any new Rocky fans. Anyone who sees this as their first “Rocky†movie will simply not get it. For anyone out there who, like me, remembers sitting in the theater in 1976 and then jumping to your feet at the end of the fight in “Rocky†and cheering like you were really ringside, this movie is for you.
For anyone who thought “II†was good in that Rocky gets to win this time, “III†was heartbreaking because of Mickey’s death, “IV†had too much cold-war rhetoric in it, and “V†was unfortunate overall, this movie is for you. This movie reminds us that Rocky is still the same old palooka from South Philly and not the guy who lived in the mansion with the “Run Will Robinson!†robot maid. He’s a good guy from a tough neighborhood who made it big but never really cared about anything besides fighting and his family.
Yes, I cried a few times during the “I miss Adrian†scenes (Editor’s note: Wuss.). As much for Rocky’s pain as for my own trying to understand how I would ever be able to cope with the loss of my wife. And that I guess tells how I really feel about this movie. I was 12 when I saw “Rocky†and he was a larger than life hero. Everyone wanted to be him. By the time “III†came out I was graduating high school and Rocky had made it big. Of course I wanted the mansion and the Ferrari and the nicely cleaned-up Adrian. When “V†was released I was out of college and just starting my life in the real world and Rocky was struggling again. We felt his pain as Tommy turned on him and were glad to see Rocky smack him down.
And now, I’m all grown up, with a wife, 2 kids, a mortgage and a career. It hurt to see Rocky without Adrian. It hurt to see a father struggle to be a part of his son’s life. It was a little sad to see that Sly really is getting too old for this stuff when he takes his shirt off. But at the end of the movie it felt good to know that Rocky was going to be alright. Life would go on and he would be part of it. No regrets. I hope my story ends that way too.
