FulPa Bowl (aka the “Outback Bowl”)
Tennessee vs. Penn State / January 1, 11 am / Tampa

See what I did there- Phil Fulmer and Joe Pa. I also considered “JoeFul Bowl”, “PaFulmer Bowl”, and “Big Orange Belly-Broken Knee Bowl”.

The Grandmommy of Them All Bowl (aka the “AT&T Cotton Bowl”)
Auburn vs. Nebraska / January 1, 11:30 am / Dallas

If the Rose Bowl is the “Granddaddy of them all”, I’m making this one the Grandmommy.

Notre Dame’s Only Quality Win vs. I’m Leaving Morgantown… No I’m Not Bowl (aka the “Toyota Gator Bowl”)
West Virginia vs. Georgia Tech / January 1, 1 pm / Jacksonville

Even with Georgia Tech QB Reggie Ball on the field (which he won’t be), West Virginia wins this one. Following the game, Rich Rodriguez will be given a 55-year contract extension and Morgantown will be renamed “Richtown”. And Alabama still doesn’t have a head coach (google “Nick Saban”).

Citrus Bowl (aka the “Capital One Bowl”)
Arkansas vs. Wisconsin / January 1, 1 pm / Orlando

This bowl is a symbol of what’s wrong with bowl games. I grew up with this one being called the Citrus Bowl. My friends and family still call it the Citrus Bowl. Steve Spurrier used to jab at Phil Fulmer by saying you can’t spell Citrus without “UT”. That joke doesn’t make any sense anymore and that sucks.

Memo to Capital One. You idiots better intend on sponsoring this thing for at least 25 years; my emotions can’t be toyed with any longer. Also, revamp the tv commercials, the “What’s in Your Wallet” campaign needs a little nip and tuck.

All of that said, I’m really looking forward to this game- two great rushing offenses and two solid defenses, and more red than you can shake a foam finger at.

We’re Number Two Bowl presented by Country (aka the “Rose Bowl presented by Citi”)
USC vs. Michigan / January 1, 5 pm / Pasadena

The last two participants to get voted off “BCS Island” square off in a redemption game with loads of story lines. I just hope this game is as good as I think it will be.

Glendale Bowl Part I (aka the “Tostitos Fiesta Bowl”)
Boise State vs. Oklahoma / January 1, 8 pm / Glendale

If I told you at the beginning of the season that come Bowl time, Miami would be playing in Boise, Boise would be playing in Arizona, and Arizona wouldn’t be playing anywhere, would you have believed all that? Yeah, I would have too. I don’t think Boise has the blue horses to keep up with Oklahoma, especially if Adrian Peterson is on the field, but I’m going to enjoy watching it all play out on the tele.

Watch the Triple-Option Attack and Get an Oil, Lube & Filter Bowl (aka the “Meineke Car Care Bowl”)
Navy vs. Boston College / December 30, 1 pm / Charlotte

The Tarnished Star Bowl (aka the “Alamo Bowl”)
Texas vs. Iowa / December 30, 4:30 pm / San Antonio

Both of these teams hope to pull out a bottle of polish to make their BCS badge for next year nice and shiny. Iowa was perhaps the most disappointing team in all of college football this year. Texas was the defending champ with the impossible task of replacing VY. Both took a couple knees to the groin this year but have each other to square dance with this evening. This is one I’m looking forward to (really).

Another (Nearly) Home Game Bowl (aka the “Chick-fil-A (Peach) Bowl”)
Georgia vs. Virginia Tech / December 30, 8 pm / Atlanta

So much for the mythical “neutral” field. There should be plenty of Hokie fans on tap for this one but is it really fair that UGA only has to travel about 70 miles for this? No matter, Georgia is going to need the home-field advantage for this one. This ain’t your daddy’s Georgia team; I like the Hokies.

Winter in Frozen Over Hell Bowl (aka the “MPC Computers Bowl”)
U. of Miami vs. Nevada / December 31, 7:30 pm / Boise

Disappointing 6-6 season? Check. Losing conference record? Check. Mid-season brawl with a mid-major? Check. Fired the coach? Check. Loss to your rival? Check. Tell ‘em what they’ve won Johnny!!! An all-expenses paid trip from sunny, hot south Florida to Boise, Idaho!!! Weather.com high temp in Boise tomorrow- 37 degrees! Good luck recruiting this year, Hurricanes. Let’s listen in: “Now listen here boys, if you come to the “U”, not only will you get the pleasure of fist-fighting with a cross town pee-wee football team but you get to spend New Year’s eve in sub-freezing Boise.”

Part four in a six or seven part series aimed at keeping your college football viewing straight this bowl season.

Momentum Bowl II (aka the “Brut Sun Bowl”)
Oregon State vs. Missouri / December 29, 2 pm / El Paso

Missouri started the season 6-0 but lost four of its last six to end up a Michigan State Spartian 8-4. Congratulations Coach Pinkel, you get a three-year contract extension (no joke, he really did). Twenty or so of the Missouri players also contracted some mysterious illness a couple weeks ago and are just returning to full strength. Perhaps they chugged their free bottles of Brut cologne rather than skillfully dabbing the scent about the neck and chest.

Counterpoint: Oregon State. The Beavers started a dismal 2-3 with convincing losses against Boise State and Cal. They managed to rally by winning 7 of 8, including their “program-maker” win over USC. Too bad for Oregon State that this was the first and probably only year this decade that USC is mediocre (and still a pretty good mediocre).

What does this all mean? Absolutely nothing. Anything can happen in bowl games. Besides, outside of Missouri fans, Oregon State Fans, and those in the greater El Paso area, does anyone really care?

Spurrier Ego Bowl (aka the “Autozone Liberty Bowl”)
South Carolina vs. Houston / December 29, 4:30 pm / Memphis

Somewhere, deep down inside, it has got to piss Steve Spurrier off that he’s working on his first bowl win at SC and doing it against such an unworthy opponent as the Conference USA champ. I know he’s building a program, blah, blah, blah but I also know he’s got to be aching to get back to the top of college football. Spurrier doesn’t have the horses yet at SC to drop the smack down on a bowl opponent but I’m pretty sure he’s going to pull every play call out of the bag so he can build some momentum for next year.

Worthless Tidbit Bowl (aka the “Insight Bowl”, formerly the “Insight.com Bowl”)
Texas Tech vs. Minnesota / December 29, 7:30 pm / Tempe

The Insight.com Bowl has gone Hollywood on us and dropped their namesake down to just a first name. Here’s some insight for you: Minnesota’s pass defense is horrible. All Texas Tech under Mike Leach can do is pass. They’ve got another 4,000+ yard QB behind center this year under TT’s circus offense. Here’s one more for you: neither “Insight” nor “Insight.com” means anything to me so shove it.

The Bowl Bowl (aka the “Champs Sports Bowl”)
Purdue vs. Maryland / December 29, 8 pm / Orlando

It’s not a sports bowl, it’s a college football bowl. I don’t care if “Champs Sports” is the name of the sponsor. The name implies that there are other events to be held during the bowl game. If that’s what they’re after, go sponsor the freaking Olympics.

Here’s part three in a six or seven part series. More delightfully unappealing games in the books, many more stinkers still to come, including another powerful matchup of two 6-6 teams…:

The Over and Under on How Many Times Nick Saban’s Name is Mentioned is “Three” Bowl (aka the “PetroSun Independence Bowl”)
Oklahoma State vs. Alabama / December 28, 4 pm / Shreveport

Didn’t this thing used to be called the Poulan Weedeater Bowl? Apparently, the people at Poulan didn’t think this baby was worthy of their financial support anymore. Well, call me a traditionalist but you can’t just throw away year(s) of tradition. I can vividly remember (I think) waking up in the morning and dialing up the Weedeater Bowl Parade, watching the giant dandelion and mangy grass floats, and remarking at how well the Weed Princess and her Court were firing up their lawn equipment atop their float. And now I’ve got to figure out what the hell PetroSun is. Yet another thing to blame on the BCS I’m sure.

The Rodney Dangerfield Bowl (aka the “Pacific Life Holiday Bowl”)
Texas A&M vs. California / December 28, 8 pm / San Diego

This bowl is always a question of respect. Cal got it, and lots of it, early in the year. Turns out they didn’t deserve much of it. Texas A&M flew under the radar (all the radar outside of Texas anyways) until they beat down the Longhorns toward the end of the year. The only compelling story lines I can think of is where Marshawn Lynch is going to get drafted. And whether or not Aggie fans will decide that they want to break up (again) with Coach Fran.

The Big East Flameout Bowl (aka the “Texas Bowl”)
Rutgers vs. Kansas State / December 28, 8 pm / Houston

Congratulations Rutgers on a nice season. Sure the BCS Championship talks were a bit premature (as they should be for all Big East teams in the foreseeable future) but still, that Chopping Wood stuff is vintage. Love it. What do you get for your fantastic turnaround? A chance to beat the tar out of a tepidly mediocre Kansas State team. The same Kansas State that put up losses against Baylor and Kansas and escaped with a one-point win against 1-AA Illinois State in the season opener. Plus, it will give idiots like Mark May the ability to spew next year about how Rutgers dominated a Big 12 opponent in their bowl game.

BTW, this bowl used to be called the “Houston Bowl”. I only point this out because I expect that next year, in a move of inclusionary behavior and political correctness, the bowl name will change to the “Southwestern United States Bowl” brought to you by Texas (excluding Dallas) and Houston.

The Momentum Bowl (aka the “Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl”)
Clemson vs. Kentucky / December 29, 1 pm / Nashville

One of these teams isn’t as good as its record (and their records aren’t that good). Kentucky is coming in on a roll, winning 4 of their last 5 with their loss coming close on the road at Tennessee. Clemson is rolling the other way losing 3 of their last 4. Apparently, Kentucky’s AD thinks the Wildcats are rolling the right way; Rich Books recently inked a contract extension. Terms haven’t been released yet on the extension though; I’m guessing it’s a 30-day extension to see if Kentucky can win this crappy game.

Red Renee wishes you peace, love and Gap…

Here’s the next installment of “what’s on your tv” college football edition. In case you missed the first games, also provided is an update on the scores. You haven’t missed much. So far the bowls have delivered several heaping piles of dung:

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl (aka the “San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl”)
TCU - 37 NIU - 7

We Got a Gift From Replay and Still Only Managed 7 Wins Bowl (aka the “Pioneer Pure Vision Las Vegas Bowl”)
BYU - 38 Oregon - 8

Apparently both Oregon and NIU didn’t get the memo that they’re allowed to get within 30 points of their opponent. Congratulations Ducks and Huskies on splendidly mediocre seasons. Hope you enjoyed the swag bags. No doubt Oregon is muttering the Las Vegas mantra- “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Unfortunately, the fifteen of us that saw this game on tv will be emotionally damaged for awhile.

Hasn’t the D-II Championship Already Been Played Bowl (aka the “R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl”)
Troy - 41 Rice - 17

I know this outcome was significant for one of these teams; I just don’t care. I really am quite heartless.

The Only Bowl Matching Two Directional Schools Against Each Other Bowl (aka the “PapaJohns.com Bowl”)
East Carolina vs. South Florida / December 23, 1 pm / Birmingham

Game underway- 24-7, South Florida up in the third quarter. You can feel the excitement, can’t you?

The Screw it, We’re Naming a Bowl After Ourselves and Playing it Here Bowl, Part I (aka the “New Mexico Bowl”)
New Mexico vs. San Jose State / December 23, 4:30 pm / Albuquerque

Memo to New Mexico- a bowl named after you, with you playing in it, in or near your stadium isn’t a Bowl, it’s called a home game.

Utes in a Hurricane Bowl (aka the “Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl”)
Utah vs. Tulsa / December 23, 8 pm / Fort Worth

The Screw it, We’re Naming a Bowl After Ourselves and Playing it Here Bowl, Part II (aka the “Sheraton Hawaii Bowl”)
Hawaii vs. Arizona State / December 24, 8 pm / Honolulu

Let’s Get Two Teams Together That Are Between Other Things, Not Too Far West, Not Too Far East, Right in the … (aka the “Motor City Bowl”)
Middle Tennessee vs. Central Michigan / December 26, 7:30 pm / Detroit Rock City Baby

This Game will Provide a Springboard Toward Mediocrity for One of These Teams Bowl (aka “The Emerald Bowl”)
Florida State vs. UCLA / December 27, 8 pm / San Francisco

If (and when) you lose your bowl game, which in turn gives you a losing record for the season, did you really deserve to play in a bowl game? I’m talking to you Florida State.

Special Guest Contributor Mark O. checks back in with his synopsis and review of the latest installment in the Rocky Sextology- “Rocky Balboa.” Please note: no over-the-hill actors were harmed in the making of this movie or this review.

The earliest showing of “Rocky Balboa” within 50 miles of my home was at 11:40 AM, so there I was. No popcorn or anything like that, too early and can’t afford any distractions. Be just my luck to dump my $6.50 Mega-Ultra-Grande Pepsi in my lap during the big fight scene!

Warning! While I will not reveal the ending I will discuss some specific plot elements and characters. If you don’t want to know any of this stuff stop reading now! Just go see the movie and make up your own mind about it. Who really cares what I think anyhow?

For the rest of you who have nothing better to do than listen to me, here you go.
In “Rocky Balboa” we meet the post-Adrian Rocky. Adrian has died of cancer and Rocky is struggling to move on with his life. He’s moved back to the old neighborhood, lives with Paulie (Burt Young) in a little South Philly row house, and runs his aptly named restaurant, Adrian’s.

He’s searching for someone or something to make his life worth living again. Initially he finds that when he meets Marie (Geraldine Hughes) tending bar at one of his old haunts. Turns out she’s the grown up “Little Marie” that Rocky tried to help out with a life lesson in the first “Rocky.” She’s now a single mom working to make ends meet in the old neighborhood. In one of the film’s more humorous moments, Rocky meets her son and he’s surprised to see that he is multi-ethnic. When he asks about this Marie tells him his father was Jamaican, to which Rocky replies “Jamaica? European, nice.” Oh Rocky, Rocky, Rocky.

The other struggle in Rocky’s life is trying to stay connected with his grown son Robert (Milo Ventimiglia). Robert is trying to make it on his own in the business world but as he tells his father “You cast a pretty big shadow.” Rocky takes Marie’s boy under his wing, gives Marie a job at his restaurant, but still feels like something is missing.

He decides that what he wants to do is fight again. “Nothing big, just local.” This plays right into the slimy hands of the current heavyweight champ’s handlers. Mason “The Line” Dixon (real-life light heavyweight Antonio Tarver) is the undisputed heavyweight champ but is struggling with a “no heart” image and no worthy opponents to fight. Sounds a little like Stallone is making a comment on the real boxing world these days, huh?

Anyhow, thanks to the media frenzy created by an ESPN computer simulated fight between the former champ and the current champ, where ESPN concludes that Rocky would win if they fought, Rocky is convinced to take on Dixon in an exhibition match in Vegas. So now we get the obligatory training scenes…running through the streets of Philly, lifting everything from dumbbells to beer kegs to lengths of steel chain, and of course the one-handed pushups.

In one of the movies most touching scenes, Marie comes to Rocky on the night before the fight and gives him a picture of Adrian that she brought from the restaurant for good luck. The fight itself is a montage of typical “Rocky” movie filming… blood, sweat and Sly’s lips flying everywhere, mixed with flashbacks and memories that float through Rocky’s punch-drunk brain. Rocky is fighting to once-and-for-all exorcise his inner demons and Dixon is fighting to prove he has heart and win the approval of the fans. The actual outcome of the fight isn’t really important to the plot, just like it wasn’t important at the end of the original “Rocky.” That said, I’m not going to spoil it for you here- you’ll have to fork over the $36.50 to see it for yourself.

OK, enough of the summary, now for the “review.”

Did I like the movie…yes.

Was there too much product placement in the film…yes. (Editor’s note: please tell me the George Foreman Grill made an appearance either in the restaurant or during a training scene!)

Was the cameo by Mike Tyson hilarious…yes. Will it win any Oscars…no.

What this movie is is a good finish to the story that started 30 years ago. What it isn’t is a movie that will earn any new Rocky fans. Anyone who sees this as their first “Rocky” movie will simply not get it. For anyone out there who, like me, remembers sitting in the theater in 1976 and then jumping to your feet at the end of the fight in “Rocky” and cheering like you were really ringside, this movie is for you.

For anyone who thought “II” was good in that Rocky gets to win this time, “III” was heartbreaking because of Mickey’s death, “IV” had too much cold-war rhetoric in it, and “V” was unfortunate overall, this movie is for you. This movie reminds us that Rocky is still the same old palooka from South Philly and not the guy who lived in the mansion with the “Run Will Robinson!” robot maid. He’s a good guy from a tough neighborhood who made it big but never really cared about anything besides fighting and his family.

Yes, I cried a few times during the “I miss Adrian” scenes (Editor’s note: Wuss.). As much for Rocky’s pain as for my own trying to understand how I would ever be able to cope with the loss of my wife. And that I guess tells how I really feel about this movie. I was 12 when I saw “Rocky” and he was a larger than life hero. Everyone wanted to be him. By the time “III” came out I was graduating high school and Rocky had made it big. Of course I wanted the mansion and the Ferrari and the nicely cleaned-up Adrian. When “V” was released I was out of college and just starting my life in the real world and Rocky was struggling again. We felt his pain as Tommy turned on him and were glad to see Rocky smack him down.

And now, I’m all grown up, with a wife, 2 kids, a mortgage and a career. It hurt to see Rocky without Adrian. It hurt to see a father struggle to be a part of his son’s life. It was a little sad to see that Sly really is getting too old for this stuff when he takes his shirt off. But at the end of the movie it felt good to know that Rocky was going to be alright. Life would go on and he would be part of it. No regrets. I hope my story ends that way too.

Warning- the following contains words that you may or may not find offensive. If you’re reading Red Renee, your tolerance for such words are probably fairly high. That said… view at your own risk.

Special Guest Contributor, Mark O.

Of course I’m going to see “Rocky Balboa” tonight, as should every other red-blooded American male with testicles. I’m also from Philly originally so it’s kind of stamped on my genes that I must see every Rocky movie on the day it comes out.In honor of the Italian Stallion and his brilliant way with words, here are my Top 10 quotes from the Rocky movies (”I” through “V” only, I’ll let you know if “VI” has any good ones after I see it.)

10. Rocky to Gazo: “Condominiums? I never use them.” (Rocky II)

9. Mickey: “Your nose is Broken.” Rocky: “How does it look?”

Mickey: “Ah, it’s an improvement.” (Rocky)

8. Mickey to Rocky (and say it with me): “Women weaken legs!” (Rocky)

7. Clubber Lang: “I don’t hate Balboa. I pity the fool.” (Rocky III)

6. Apollo: “Ain’t gonna be no rematch.” Rocky: “Don’t want one.” (Rocky)

5. Clubber Lang: “My prediction?…Pain.” (Rocky III)

4. Ivan Drago: “If he dies, he dies.” (Rocky IV)

3. Mickey: “You’re gonna eat lightnin’, and you’re gonna crap thunder.” (Rocky)

2. Rocky: “Yo Adrian! I did it!” (Rocky II)

1. Rocky: “Cut me, Mick.”

You’d need some serious beer goggles to fall in love with this thing.

With the Pontiac Aztek no longer being produced, there was a vacancy atop RedRenee.com’s “ugliest car in America” list. We had considered nominating the Honda Element for awhile but got bored (of it and the competition).

With the introduction of the beauty above, the competition’s been resurrected, and man is it heating up. Originally intended as only a concept vehicle, enormous “demand” prompted Toyota to build the FJ on a large scale, but only in North America. Unfortunately, this car is another example of retro gone bad (several design cues reference back to the FJ Land Cruiser from the 60’s). I passed one of these today while minding my own business and nearly drove into a ditch. Fortunately for Toyota, a very intelligent interior and capable off-roading skills makes up for its exterior shortcomings. And I’m sure off-roading is what most owners of this car will do. As long as off-roading means going to the grocery store and the gym.

Rather than offer up the typical game-by-game analysis for this year’s Bowl games, we thought it’d be more appropriate to re-title each game based on the matchup and the plot lines. Let’s be honest, the fine people that work at Pioneer aside, does anyone really care if we rework the name of the Pioneer PureVision Las Vegas Bowl? I mean, I know it’s steeped in tradition. All nine years or whatever of it. OK, maybe fifteen. Whatever. The regular season is what really counts, right BCS apologists?

We digress. On to the renaming.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl

NIU vs. TCU / December 19, 8 pm / San Diego

Ha! Tricked you. That actually is the name of the bowl. We really couldn’t think of anything more absurd that what the bowl is actually named.

We Got a Gift From Replay and Still Only Managed 7 Wins Bowl

Oregon vs. BYU / December 21, 8 pm / Las Vegas

Oregon screwed over Oklahoma early this season with the help of the referees and the chimp in the replay booth. Apparently, that crew didn’t call the rest of their games because Oregon managed to lose five games as the rest of the season played out. I watch a ton of football and can’t remember a single BYU game this year so that makes them pretty irrelevant this year. Plus, I haven’t heard Mark May name drop one of their Coordinators names so that also supports their irrelevancy. I’m pulling for karma during this one and hoping that somehow BYU pulls off the win via the refs and the replay booth.

Hasn’t the D-II Championship Already Been Played Bowl

Rice vs. Troy / December 22, 8 pm / New Orleans

Rice last won a bowl game in 1953. This is Troy’s fifth season playing D-I football. Rice lost to Florida State 55-7. Troy lost to Florida State 24-7. For all the people that think records matter so much, Florida State finished the year 6-6 while the aforementioned teams both finished 7-5. I’ll be at the mall food court eating rice for this one.

The Only Bowl Matching Two Directional Schools Against Each Other Bowl

East Carolina vs. South Florida / December 23, 1 pm / Birmingham

Does it bother anyone that East Carolina isn’t called “East North Carolina”? It’s in North Carolina (I looked it up). Isn’t it presumptive to assume by “Carolina”, most people would instantly think North Carolina? Does this tick people from South Carolina off at all? It really should.

In case you missed Sportscenter last night, you probably don’t know that another brawling melee erupted during an NBA game last night. This time, in the waning minutes of the Knick-Nugget game. Neither team has displayed that much passion in half a decade so we here at RedRenee.com say “Bravo.”

Regular season NBA games are completely unwatchable. It’s only during the playoffs that real basketball actually makes an appearance. Accordingly, we give mad props to Commissioner David Stern for reinstating the ability for players to fight with each other, with or without the involvement of spectators. And the timing couldn’t be better. With the ongoing drama of who’s willing to wreck their franchise by signing Allen Iverson, interest is at an all-time medium.

We’re pretty sure Carmelo isn’t offering tidings of joy…

In a league where defense doesn’t even show up on the clipboard until playoffs, it’s good to see some manufactured drama. Almost as entertaining will be the sincere contrition as players and coaches alike will apologize for what took place. No apologies needed guys. It’s just a shame these two teams won’t see each other during the regular season. We certainly won’t see either team in the post season.Can you imagine the rematch? “The Rumble in the Rockies” or the “Pummeling at the Pepsi Center”. Bring Michael Buffer in (pretty sure his calendar is wiiiiide open). Make it “Bitch slap Night” for the fans and pass out free tazers to the first 5,000 fans. Now that’s marketing. Gary Bettman eat your heart out.

What we recommend is that when all these players come off suspension, they should pick a fight with the first team that they play. If they then in turn would pick a fight with the next team they play and so on and so forth, pretty soon we’ll have drama a go-go. It’s sort of an entertainment pyramid scheme.

And we’d all be on top of the pyramid.

You’re welcome.

Photo Courtesy AP: Frank Franklin II

For the first time since October 25, the 30-year mortgage rate rose (up 5 basis points), this based on a large lender survey. Rates year on year are actually down and the “line” is coming off six straight weeks of decline. All of this begs the question: are those that participated in the refinance frenzy 3 and 4 years ago, most of which did so with riskier arms with riskier still loan to value, dumping into fixed-rate mortgages?

Yes and no.

According to the Mortgage Bankers Association (MBA), refinance applications are at a 15-month high. A good sign that homeowners are making better choices but to quote Lee Corso, “Not so fast my friend.”

First from the MBA- for the period July-September, nearly 5 percent of homeowners were 30 days late or more on their mortgages. The BostonHerald.com reports home foreclosures in Massachusetts soared nearly 300% last month. According to RealtyTrac, 115,000 properties were in foreclosure across the country, a 42% increase from prior year. And Georgia, who owns the nation’s third largest foreclosure rate, reported foreclosures up 99% in the last year.

There’s also a growing trend in California and other places of “short sales.” Short sales are quite simply lenders allowing homeowners to sell their home at a value lower than the mortgage and then settling the debt with the bank. If a short sale doesn’t work, the property goes into foreclosure. Basically, short sales are caused by lenders (appraisers) over-valuing property, the homeowner financing based on that false value and when the “value” plummets, homeowners are stuck with a home that’s worth less than the mortgage value, and are stuck with escalating payments due to their variable rate mortgage.

Historically speaking, none of this is new (see “1980’s). What’s disturbing is that Americans have awfully short memories and tend to have an unwillingness to learn from our past. You would think that even the dot-com stock market burst in 2001 would provide a lesson for irrational homeowners who refinanced with exotic adjustable rate mortgages, cashed out huge second mortgage loans based on over-inflated property values, and then used that money to dig themselves into an even deeper hole.

It’s what Alan Greenspan referred to as “irrational exuberance” when commenting on the stock market toward the end of the bubble. It’s this irrational exuberance combined with a woeful financial literacy level in this country that will doom us to repeat our mistakes ad infinitum. We owe it to future generations to address both of these issues. Shame on (some) lenders too who fuel the fire by foregoing the fundamental principle of risk tolerance to turn loans quicker and in greater numbers.

1. Approach wall. 2. Slam head into wall. 3. Repeat.

All aren’t to blame. There certainly are those caught up in unfortunate circumstances- those that perhaps lost their job (but were in over their heads to start) or those first time home buyers who saw the opportunity and maybe got caught up in not being able to afford the payments once the adjustable rate adjusted. Hard to fault those folks. Home ownership, after all, is the American dream.

It’s not all bad news either. For the first time this decade, more people are leaving California than going in. In 2002, the median home price in California broke $300,000. Today, a starter home in most counties is $300,000. The median price for a home in Southern California last month was $484,000. This in combination with ridiculous traffic, earthquakes, and wildfires is presumably bringing people to the realization that maybe they should get the F out of California.

And from all reports, it appears the speculators that have been driving up real estate values in California and Florida have left the party. Good riddance. Unfortunately, the people left dragging their tortilla chips across the crusty part of the dip bowl and clutching their lukewarm beer are overextended homeowners who can’t afford their rising mortgage payments, who’s house isn’t worth what they owe, and who have long ago spent the false equity they tapped into. Hope that the imported brazilian coconut scented tile carried on the backs of peasants to your doorstep looks good in the foreclosure brochure.

Could be headed for some rational (albeit painful) lesson learning. Let’s hope we’ve got longer memories this time around.

You’re welcome.

Here’s who/what Redrenee.com doesn’t care about today (in no particular order):

• Daisuke Matsuzaka
• Allen Iverson
• Terrell Owens (yep, still don’t care about T.O.)
• Hollywood babies (imported or grown; we care about the babies, just not the publicity of them).
• Award Shows
• Leisurely shoppers that clog shopping malls on the weekend. Weekends are for gamers. If you’ve got time to kill, go during the week.
• Mall pimps. You know, the people that set up shop on the “medians” in the mall. Trying to put moisturizer on your face, spray crap on you, or convince you that the world is a better place with an “ultimate mix tape.” Pepperidge Farm and those little ice-cream dot from space people- you’re ok.
• I-Pods
• What type of ball the NBA uses
• People who complain that their crappy cable provider doesn’t offer NFL Network. Memo to you morons- there’s an ism at play in this country called Capitalism. If you don’t like the service you’re getting from your ___ provider, find someone else. Or get Directv. Dopes.
• Companies that use 8-letter words to represent their companies phone number (like 800-FOOTBALL). Phone numbers in this country are seven digits plus area code.
• Search engines that “push” instead of “search”
• American Express “My Wishlist” promotion
• Pharmaceutical ads

Somebody call David Caruso, the BCS war chest is being invaded again. For the second year in a row, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are pillaging the BCS bank account by getting an undeserved BCS bowl bid. You see, under normal circumstances, the $17 million per game/per team BCS payout gets divided amongst conference peers. But in the case of Notre Dame, since they aren’t in a conference (for football), the payout goes directly to them.

Fortunately, the BCS has negotiated a lower payout for Notre Dame- $4.5 million. That’s at least one thing the BCS has gotten correct. Except that, by virtue of this reduced payout, it actually provides motivation for the BCS to put Notre Dame into one of their bowls- there’s less money to pay out.

It’s lose-lose for everyone.

Still, the Alamo Bowl (or some equivalent, which is where Notre Dame belongs) pays out about $2.2 million. So, the Notre Dame bias is worth
about $2.3 million this year, just like it was last year. That’s roughly $4.6 million that Notre Dame owes college football fans (where do you think all that BCS money comes from). We’ll take it in small bills please. And beer.

And what do we get for that $4.5 million? A lop-sided butt-kicking
(no doubt) at the hands of LSU in the Sugar Bowl. Practically a home game for LSU, the only thing that will prevent this from being one of the worst bowl games of the season is LSU’s Head Coach Les Miles.

If anyone can throw away a lead or blow an in-game decision, Les Miles can. Highly unlikely. Notre Dame has lost four games in a row by an average score of 35-15; I don’t think even Les Miles can screw this one up.

Dateline: Nashville

Tennessee Titans fans have announced that rookie QB Vince Young will be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame immediately following this season. Citing four wins in a row and comparisons to Steve Young, Steve McNair, and Michael Jordan, Titan fans overwhelmingly support waiving of the 5-year layoff rule currently in place for induction into Canton.

In related news, Chicago Bear fans have decided to withdrawal their Hall of Fame nomination for QB Rex Grossman. This due to what several fans described as “sucking ass” for three weeks in a row.

In still more related news, Indianapolis Colt fans have withdrawn Peyton Manning’s Hall of Fame induction after nominating him, then withdrawing the nomination, then re-nominating him over the last two years. Peyton was unavailable for comment as he was taping a tv commercial.

Bill Parcels talking to the media about Terrell Owens’ manipulation of the media:

“He sucks you guys in. Consider yourself sucked.”

It’s the holiday shopping season. Time
to hit the mall, the strip-mall, the mega mall, the outlet mall, the discount store, the grocery store, the storage store… you get the idea. I’m tired of nearly running down some of you as you meander aimlessly across the parking lot and I proceed on my never-ending quest for the perfect parking spot. You know who you are- Mr. “I’m on an important phone call and my legs are moving but I have no idea where I am” or you, Ms. “Fumbling with my purse while I put on make up and click the car alarm three times and it’s a wonder I don’t actually walk into a parked car.”

Redrenee.com has some advice for you. It’s borrowed from the world of golf so not a new idea, just a recycled one. It’s the 90 degree rule. In order to preserve fairways, golf courses ask golf cart drivers to drive their rig at a 90 degree angle across the fairway.

Now apply that simple idea as you walk across the parking lot to your favorite store. Instead of zig-zagging lazily across the pavement, cut directly across the driveways at a 90 degree angle. It will be safer for you and those of us waiting for you to trod across the parking lot will spend less time waiting for you and more time locking down rock star parking.

You’re welcome.

Unless you live under a rock or are a rock, you’re aware that the final BCS standings have been released and all the bowl game pairings have been announced. We’ll spend separate effort in the future peeling apart the layers of the current bowl matchups. However, we here at Redrenee.com fervently believe in an 8-team playoff to decide the national championship. Based on the final BCS standings and ignoring the ridiculous BCS selection rules currently in place, here’s what the first round matchups would look like in our (perfect) world:# 8 Boise State at # 1 Ohio State
# 7 Wisconsin at # 2 Florida
# 6 Louisville at # 3 Michigan
# 5 USC at # 4 LSU

After USC’s implosion at UCLA, they’d still be in contention for the NC but would have to travel to LSU to move on. Instead, in the real (imperfect) world, Notre Dame gets to go to LSU (aka the Sugar Bowl) to get destroyed by a very physical and talented Tiger team. The other three matchups are intriguing as well.

And after this first round, the semifinals, and the real championship game, would there be any question as to who is the best team in the country? One thing’s for sure, it would be settled on the field. The only people with a beef of not being included are the teams ranked 9th or lower- a much more palatable “no fair” discussion than the Florida/Michigan discussion.

There are hundreds of product review web sites available, most are completely useless. Our goal at Redrenee.com is to provide reviews of the true crap,
the products that should have never made it off the R&D floor, with
the hope that you won’t be duped into buying it as we have. On very
few occasions we will provide reviews of what we think are outstanding
products, but generally speaking, we’re not trying to sell you
anything. We hope that by painfully recounting our experiences with
the cream of the crap, you can avoid making our mistakes.

Sony Ericsson Z520a

I have an uncanny knack of finding
crappy cell phones, similar to my ability to always end up in the
slowest line at the grocery store. It’s a gift and I can’t explain
it. Anyways, I’ve had the subject phone for about six months and I’d
like to forget it. Before buying the phone I was a responsible
consumer. I did my research, made a list of the features that I needed
and thought I found exactly what I was looking for. Many web sites I
visited actually listed this telephonic disaster a “good buy” or “best
best.” Here’s the Personal Shopper’s Rule # 1: “Be wary of who’s doing
the reviewing”. Ironic, given what you’re reading right now.
Nonetheless, read on.

I’m not sure where to start with this
phone so I’ll just start with what I actually liked about it (you know,
the short list). First, it’s pretty lightweight and the general sound
quality is ok. It doesn’t heat up after 5 minutes like my last cell
phone so I’m going to call that a positive. It has some catchy light
effects, which if you’re into light effects on your phone, you might
enjoy. The Bluetooth works pretty well, or at least it did until I got
ticked off by my Bluetooth earpiece and stopped using it. That was
quick.

Here’s what I dislike about this phone
(dislike is really a kind word to use here but it’s the Holidays and
I’m feeling generous): First of all, this phone is a perfect example of
a consumer electronic device trying to do a lot but not really being
successful at anything (sort of the “jack of all trades, master of
none” product development theory). At the top of my “what were they
thinking” list for this phone is the camera feature.

In general, I’m against camera phones;
I’m anti-camera phone. This particular phone has a camera button on
the side of the phone. Pressing the button for a second or so
instantly activates the
camera feature, whether the camera is flipped
open or closed. I can’t come up with a good reason why Sony Ericsson
built this functionality in; what it results in is dozens of pictures
of my coat pocket, my hand, etc. Basically, every time you bump into
the side of the phone, it activates the camera and proceeds to do a
photo shoot of whatever is in its range. I go in and delete pictures
of absolutely nothing every week or so (on the positive side, it holds
plenty of pictures).

Second, and equally frustrating is the
speakerphone function. When you flip the clamshell open, the
microphone is on the inside but the speaker is on the back. So as I
hold the phone in my hand, my palm muffles the sound coming out of the
speakerphone (which isn’t good to start). The only way to get around
this is by holding the phone awkwardly by the top and swiveling the
phone back and forth while I talk into one side and listen on the
other. It’s probably entertaining to watch someone do this but believe
me, it’s really frustrating to do it.

Third is the “missed call” feature.
Most phones automatically display the call missed when you can’t get to
it. The genius engineers that designed this piece of crap found a
cleverly infuriating way to add a needless keystroke. You miss a call,
you flip open the phone to see who called, and the phone displays the
following message: “Missed Calls: 1, View Now?”. The only way you can
move on is by clicking “Yes” or “No.” Why would anyone click “No?” I
wouldn’t have flipped open the flipping phone to see who called if I
didn’t want to know who called. Again, I have no idea what the
engineers were thinking of when they set up the display sequence like
this. This is perhaps the most flagrant example of counterintuitive
design I’ve ever seen.

Finally, and the icing on the crap cake
is the low battery warning. The battery life for the phone is ok but
when it does run low, it provides a low battery warning. Helpful,
right? Could be helpful if the warning didn’t include animation,
lighting and a cute little sound. Plus, the warning seems to sound
every couple hours for a couple days until the phone dies a slow,
painful death. So your phone is already in a low battery state, and
the designers of the phone decided that it’d be a good idea to build in
a feature that would do nothing but drain the battery quicker.
Absolutely brilliant.

I could go on and on about things like
the seemingly useless hump on the top of the phone or the fact that I
have yet to toggle successfully between two calls. I think you get the
picture.

Take our advice and don’t buy this
phone. If someone gives this phone to you as a gift, politely ask for
the gift receipt. If you’re walking down the street and someone
(matching my description) lobs this phone at you from a car window,
duck and let it hit the ground and shatter into a dozen pieces. That’s
where it belongs. (Editor’s note: no cell phones were harmed in the
making of this post).

You’re welcome.

Interesting to see how former coaches (many hall of famers, and seemingly without bias, though no doubt biased) that vote in the “Master Coaches Poll” view the top 5 teams in the country. Also interesting to see how three former coaches in particular, Don James, Don Nehlen, and John Robinson compare Florida and Michigan (see second link).

1 Ohio State (16) 400 1

2 Michigan 379 3

3 Florida 373 4

4 LSU 339 5

5 Wisconsin 325 6

http://www.mcspoll.com/features.htm

http://www.mcspoll.com/WeeklyQAwithCoaches.htm

Citizens (and non-citizens) of America, rise up. Off that comfy armchair in your parents basement, your settee on Park Avenue, your long board in Long Beach, or your bean bag chair in Boston; rise up. Grab your torch, your pitchfork, and your Starbucks coffee and take to the streets. Fans of college football are once again having an injustice done unto them. The BCS is not working and anyone who says otherwise has an “I Heart Mike Tranghese” tat on either the right or left gun.

The talking heads are spewing (as they’ve done for the last 24 hours) their arguments as to why either Michigan or Florida “deserves” to play in the BCS Championship. Some because they like to (Mark May- I’m talking to you), and some because they’re paid to do so but derive no joy from it. That’s what it has come down to. Countless Saturdays filled with players laying it on the line all to end up with a popularity contest. The BCS apologists claim they want to preserve the integrity of the regular season. Well, no surer way to de-legitimize the regular season than for the most critical outcome of the season (thus far) to be determined by votes. If we can’t get an unclouded Presidential election, what makes anyone think we can get a college football election right?

The problem with the opinions and statistics in college football is that there is data to support reasonable arguments for or against anyone. The Florida backers are quick to point out that the SEC contains 5 of the top 25 defenses in college football. Statistical truth but also true that the Big 10 has 4 of the top 25 defenses. The Michigan backers will point out that the Big 10 has 4 of the top 30 offenses in the country. Also statistically true, but so is the fact that the SEC has 3 of the top 30 offenses. So which is it, bad offense in the SEC or good defense? Is it good offense in the Big 10 or bad defense? It’s all just opinion until it’s settled on the field.

And who do we have to thank for all of this? UCLA. Rising up from the ashes of perennial mediocrity, the Bruins beat the previously anointed “# 2 team” in a physical defensive match. That is what is both frustrating and exciting about college sports all at the same time. The opportunity for athletes with slightly above average talent to muster all the fire and determination they can in order to beat a superior opponent. This is at the essence of why a playoff is needed- anything can happen on any given Saturday. (p.s. to Bruins Defensive End Bruce Davis who called out Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso for picking against UCLA, hey Bruce- shut your mouth and focus on playing football. If you and your team mates played with that much fire during the rest of the season, you might be headed somewhere better than the Emerald Bowl).

So no matter what the outcome of the BCS pairings are this evening, you should not be satisfied. The college presidents and the BCS are screwing you, me and every other college football fan. Call your zany sports radio guy. Send an e-mail to your college president. Scream at anyone that will listen and tell them why we should have a playoff in college football.

Rise up college football fans.

Ever heard the phrase “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? Well, Major League Baseball sure hasn’t.

The MLB season starts each year with spring training, usually mid-February through the end of March. Then the regular season starts a painfully long 100,000 game (or so) stretch running from April 1 through October 1. The playoffs and World Series consume the entire month of October usually wrapping up late October or very early November.

As soon as the World Series ends, the ridiculous parade of awards begins, lasting nearly a month, going up until the MVP announcement on November 21st this year. This deserves special mention in that it’s a gross display of ego and arrogance. Just take one day and announce all the awards. Quit butting in on Sportscenter with the succession of announcements- most people don’t care. Then winter meetings kick in for 4 days in early December.

That leaves one month out of the entire year- January- untouched by the mold-like presence of baseball. At least the NFL gives us May, June and most of July to recharge our wing-eating, beer-drinking batteries. And even the weeks that NFL is on stage, we usually get 4 or 5 days per week to get some sleep. Baseball’s on every day of the freaking week.

It’s a novel concept- the idea of limited distribution. If MLB wasn’t so busy whoring themselves out to nearly every day on the calendar, maybe TV ratings would be somewhere between “in the toilet” and “Deal or No Deal”.

This is hard to say Bud Selig but, we need a break. We need to see other people. We need some alone time. We need to find ourselves. It’s not you, it’s us. OK, that’s a lie, it’s you. We’re through.

p.s. It’s pretty disgusting that the Boston Red Sox paid $51.1 million for the rights to sign Japanese professional player Daisuke Matsuzaka. We’ve got both an immigration and a poverty problem in this country. Not very socially responsible for a baseball team to pay $51.1 million to import one person.