Viewing Guide: Holiday Bowl Season Volume 2

Here’s the next installment of “what’s on your tv” college football edition. In case you missed the first games, also provided is an update on the scores. You haven’t missed much. So far the bowls have delivered several heaping piles of dung:

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl (aka the “San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl”)
TCU - 37 NIU - 7

We Got a Gift From Replay and Still Only Managed 7 Wins Bowl (aka the “Pioneer Pure Vision Las Vegas Bowl”)
BYU - 38 Oregon - 8

Apparently both Oregon and NIU didn’t get the memo that they’re allowed to get within 30 points of their opponent. Congratulations Ducks and Huskies on splendidly mediocre seasons. Hope you enjoyed the swag bags. No doubt Oregon is muttering the Las Vegas mantra- “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Unfortunately, the fifteen of us that saw this game on tv will be emotionally damaged for awhile.

Hasn’t the D-II Championship Already Been Played Bowl (aka the “R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl”)
Troy - 41 Rice - 17

I know this outcome was significant for one of these teams; I just don’t care. I really am quite heartless.

The Only Bowl Matching Two Directional Schools Against Each Other Bowl (aka the “PapaJohns.com Bowl”)
East Carolina vs. South Florida / December 23, 1 pm / Birmingham

Game underway- 24-7, South Florida up in the third quarter. You can feel the excitement, can’t you?

The Screw it, We’re Naming a Bowl After Ourselves and Playing it Here Bowl, Part I (aka the “New Mexico Bowl”)
New Mexico vs. San Jose State / December 23, 4:30 pm / Albuquerque

Memo to New Mexico- a bowl named after you, with you playing in it, in or near your stadium isn’t a Bowl, it’s called a home game.

Utes in a Hurricane Bowl (aka the “Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl”)
Utah vs. Tulsa / December 23, 8 pm / Fort Worth

The Screw it, We’re Naming a Bowl After Ourselves and Playing it Here Bowl, Part II (aka the “Sheraton Hawaii Bowl”)
Hawaii vs. Arizona State / December 24, 8 pm / Honolulu

Let’s Get Two Teams Together That Are Between Other Things, Not Too Far West, Not Too Far East, Right in the … (aka the “Motor City Bowl”)
Middle Tennessee vs. Central Michigan / December 26, 7:30 pm / Detroit Rock City Baby

This Game will Provide a Springboard Toward Mediocrity for One of These Teams Bowl (aka “The Emerald Bowl”)
Florida State vs. UCLA / December 27, 8 pm / San Francisco

If (and when) you lose your bowl game, which in turn gives you a losing record for the season, did you really deserve to play in a bowl game? I’m talking to you Florida State.