The NFL draft is this weekend and NFL fans everywhere are awakening from their winter hibernation and lumbering out of the cave to turn on the tele. The only exception of course is New York Jet fans who do not hibernate but rather spend the off-season throwing down Jager-bombs and prepping their vocal chords for the booing after the Jets’ first pick is announced on Saturday.

Much of the discussion by NFL draft analysts has surrounded the two quarterbacks likely to be taken in the first round- JaMarcus Russell and Brady Quinn. We’ve done some historical research on Quarterbacks selected in the first round and we have some advice for NFL General Managers: Caveat emptor.

Since 1993, eight QB’s have been taken #1 overall. Of those eight, only four have made it to a Pro-Bowl. That’s a 50/50 proposition which is pretty poor odds for the # 1 overall pick. It gets worse for “the field”. Of the six non-QB overall #1 selections during that time frame, only two of them (Orlando Pace and Keyshawn Johnson) have made it to a Pro-Bowl. Based on all that, if I were the Raiders picking #1 this year, I’d trade down. Make a deal with the Texans and let them wreck their franchise again. Make a trade with Detroit- the only thing better than them stock-piling another first round Wide Receiver bust is doing it #1 overall. Hell, make a trade with the valet at Radio City Music Hall, who cares.

Since 1993 a total of thirty-three QB’s have been selected in round one. Of those thirty-three, only eleven have made it to a Pro-Bowl, and two of those eleven were Trent Dilfer and Kerry Collins… So consider that of the QB’s drafted in the first round, less than 1/3rd have made it to the Pro-Bowl. Yikes.

Eleven Quarterbacks have been selected in picks two through six and six of them have made the Pro-Bowl. That’s a 55% success rate. Slightly better than #1 overall but still not a lot of comfort for the future of a franchise.

But wait, it gets even better. Of the fourteen Quarterbacks selected 7th or later in the first round, only one has made it to the Pro-Bowl- Daunte Culpepper who was the 11th pick in 1999. That’s a 9% success rate. So, unless you’re taking your man in picks one through six, you’d best wait ’till round two. That means no reaching for BYU QB John Beck or MSU QB Drew Stanton.

Finally, since 1993, of all the years where multiple Quarterbacks were selected in Round 1, only one year had all Quarterbacks selected eventually make the Pro Bowl- 1995 which had Steve McNair and Kerry Collins selected.

What does all this mean? Not much. At worst, it means they’ll both be busts in the league. The likely case means only one of the JaMarcus Russell/Brady Quinn combo will make the Pro Bowl. At best, it means one of them will be Kerry Collins.

We’re trading down.

You’re welcome.

I still haven’t quite gotten over the horrible tragedy at Virginia Tech that’s just over a week old now- the act of a truly disturbed and cowardly young man. I also haven’t gotten over the sick feeling in my stomach from Rosie O’Donnel and the anti-gun lobby who would use such a tragedy to trumpet their personal views. Nor have I quite gotten over much of the mainstream media whose coverage of the tragedy was often uncomfortable and distasteful and sometimes downright sleazy.

In an effort to move on, we will be running a five or six part series starting today of our favorite comedians. Not our favorite comedians of all time or even our favorite comedians performing today. Rather, our favorite comedians on XM Radio. You see, a few months ago, I finally pulled the trigger on an XM radio for the car. I spend a lot of time traveling and have logged many hours dialed in to the comedy channels on XM. The majority of it is, like many comedians and their material, not funny at all. Sad almost at times when it becomes very clear that the only reason the audience on the recording is laughing is that they’re drunk or high or both. What I have found though are some unbelievably funny comedians with great material, many folks that I had never heard of before.

So without further ado, our five or six part series featuring some great comics. First up is someone who’s pretty mainstream as far as comedians go. He’s an actor, a comedian, and a writer and is currently touring nationally for his “Beyond the Pale” tour. He’s Jim Gaffigan; enjoy.

http://www.jimgaffigan.com/

This just in: John Travolta is significant of a celebrity as Elvis and Marilyn Monroe (according to him). Also just in: Scientology has kept him from OD’ing on a toilet.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18024482/

I’m working on development of a new reality TV show. The basic premise is each episode a hooker sets her boss up for a glammer make-over. The show will be called “Pimp my Pimp.” Call me if you want in.

Unless you live under a rock, and you’d have to in order to escape the 24-hour news cycle these days, you by now have seen that Don Imus was fired by CBS, just on the heals of his firing from MSNBC and subsequent to his insensitive comment about the Rutgers basketball team. That makes the third firing of a major syndicated morning radio host for indecency when you consider the previous firings of Howard Stern and Opie & Anthony.

First of all, let me go third person and say that Red Renee does not in any way agree with the comment made by Don Imus. I also don’t believe he should have been fired for what he said. If I were listening to his program at the time he made that comment (and I wasn’t), I would have simply turned the channel, just like I have in the past when both Howard Stern and Opie & Anthony have gone into schticks that I didn’t care to listen to. My personal opinion is that Don Imus’ comment was based out of a misplaced attempt at hipness and a certain level of ignorance. And he’s on the radio for four hours a day five days a week for eternity. I’d bet a large sum of someone else’s money that nearly every person in America would say something stupid, insensitive, or ignorant if on the air for that much time. I also don’t believe that most of his audience was offended by the comment. It is when comments like that meander out of the stream it’s flowing in and wash upon the shore of public opinion that context and emotion take over.

Unfortunately, lost in all of this are several points which Americans must acknowledge. First point is the choice we all have in a free society to change the channel. If we were living in a Communistic society and there was only one radio station and Don Imus was on it, then yes he should have been fired. Maybe it’s my fervent belief in a free market capitalistic society but I believe the free market would decide the appropriateness of a comment (and maybe that partially happened here too; see: advertisers). The freedom of speech banner is hoisted by both “sides” in matters of race and sex but I believe ignorant speech and expression is protected by the Constitution. Speech motivated by hate or with the intent to incite violence is not protected. I don’t believe hate or violence were at work here.

Then there’s the topic of “the free air waves” and the notion that Imus should have been held to a higher standard because he’s on those free air waves. The FCC has clearly shown its’ jurisdiction and fervor for weighing in on these matters and to the best of my knowledge, the FCC did not threaten to take away any broadcast licenses here.

Also, let’s not even for a second pretend that everyone has taken the moral high road here. First of all, Don Imus did not express contrition for his comment until well after the firestorm began. It’s an awfully hollow apology when Imus or celebrities or politicians or athletes apologize for offending someone or getting caught but not at the immediate moment the word or phrase left their lips.

Second, it’s utterly shameful how the news media has exploited this story and concurrently invaded the lives of the Rutgers basketball players who are just caught in the middle of all of this.

Third, there’s the honorable reverend Al Sharpton himself. He and his rent-a-mob, which I believe truly only represent a very small minority of African-Americans, show up like a personal injury attorney at the scene of an automobile accident. There’s nothing civil or rational about how Mr. Sharpton whips his caucus into a frenzy in the name of advancing his own personal significance and no doubt financial gain. And with Mr. Sharpton’s national spotlight, no mention yesterday or today about how wrong he was in condemning the Duke lacrosse players accused of rape. I actually listened to his radio show for quite some time yesterday and heard not a word mentioned about Duke.

Fourth, there’s MSNBC and CBS proper. The timing of the firing is disgusting on both parts- first MSNBC firing on the eve of Imus’ annual radiothon for sick children and then CBS’ firing on the heels of a meeting with the aforementioned Sharpton where boycotts were threatened. If both MSNBC and CBS were in fact trying to do the “right thing” by firing Imus, they would have done so last weekend. No- they waited until the full weight of disappearing advertising dollars came to bear before they acted. It’s absolutely disgusting how both of these networks are hiding behind morality now.

Finally, there’s the rap community which use language Don Imus used and far worse, often with anger and hate as a motivation and yet still get a free pass during the dialogue from Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. Both shuffle the rap lyrics under the rug under the guise that there’s a “performers or artistic freedom” at work. Pardon my German, but that’s complete bullshit. Speech is speech. Language is language. Expression is expression. It doesn’t matter if you’re running ripped off sample tracks underneath what you’re saying or wearing a ridiculous cowboy hat while you say it.

Let us be a nation of tolerant people, that challenge each other’s views but champion the right for that person to have those views. That rationally disagree and attempt to make meaningful change based on belief, not money. Let us all think for ourselves and not wait for a drum beater or news anchor to tell us what we should think. Let’s examine all points in contextual dialogue before coming to any conclusions. Let’s all chill out. And most importantly, let’s all just get along.

You’re welcome.

In most definitely my laziest post yet, here’s what’s on my Tivo- all the shows set up for season pass and in no particular order:

24 (Fox)
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)
How I Met your Mother (CBS)
Lost (ABC)
Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
Desperate Housewives (ABC)
Entourage (HBO)
Sopranos (HBO)
Meerkat Manor (Animal Planet)
Amazing Race (CBS)
Colbert Report (Comedy Central)
Iron Chef America (Food)
Dream House (HGTV)
Planet Earth (Discovery)
Deadliest Catch (Discovery)

Now tell me what’s on yours.

The PISOFf (People in search of fairness) brigade is out in full force again. This time the call to arms again involves Directv. You’ll recall the middle of last year when cable subscribers everywhere took to the streets over the “NFL Network” being unavailable on a smattering of cable providers. Thousands of cable subscribers complained that they couldn’t get the NFL Network channel and thus were excluded from seeing some of the NFL games broadcast (for the first time ever) on NFL Network. Boo hoo.

This time, the game is baseball and the U.S. Senate is involved. Rumors started swirling in January and February that Directv had acquired exclusive rights to Major League Baseballs’ “Extra Innings” package which offers up to 900 MLB games a year and allows fans out of market from their favorite team to still see the games. During that period, anyone without Directv would be unable to purchase and watch the Extra Innings package as they do today.

I’m as fanatic of a fan as anyone else so I certainly understand wanting to follow one’s team, especially when living in another city. What I cannot support is the entitlement mentality which has become so pervasive in this country. Entitlement along with hyper-sensitive political correctness is driving the wussification of America and it has to stop. Americans are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Nowhere in the documents of our founding fathers does it state “Americans are entitled to purchase MLB Extra Innings regardless of who their cable or satellite provider is”. Go ahead and check- the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, the Louisiana Purchase. The “MLB clause” is nowhere to be found.

I can certainly understand the folks living in an apartment or condo who aren’t allowed to mount a satellite dish on their patio or on their neighbor’s cat. That’s not a Directv problem though, that’s a “you” problem. Lobby to change the bylaws/covenants of your condo association. Go to a sports bar to see the game. Move. You’ve got lots of options so quit complaining. I have even less patience for the people that complain they’ve got cable, phone, and internet bundled through their cable provider and thus don’t want to change to Directv. Again, that’s a choice your making.

If Directv wants to spend $700 million to buy exclusive rights and try to leverage the MLB package to drive new subscribers- that’s their choice. If MLB wants to risk alienating fans unwilling to switch to Directv, that’s their prerogative too. Morons of America- it’s called capitalism. The outcome of those decisions will be driven by the forces of the open market. If there are so many unhappy people, Directv will not see the extra subscribers and thus not get a return on their $700 million investment. MLB would also be impacted financially by lower tv revenues and drops in attendance by disgruntled fans. And in a capitalistic marketplace, that’s how outcomes are determined. We’re not talking about electricity or water here, we’re talking about superfluous baseball games.

Done deal right? Not even close. For all the half-wits complaining about the potential action, there’s a knight in shining armor for you. It’s Senator John Kerry and the Senate Commerce Committee. In another dazzling display of tax-payer dollar waste from both sides of the aisle, the Senate Commerce Committee held a hearing on behalf of cable tv subscribers and also subscribers of Echostar Communication Corp’s Dish Network. The hearing was filled with sickening examples of just how akimbo our country’s values have become. First from FCC Chairman Kevin Martin, “I am concerned whenever consumers cannot purchase the programming they want, or are forced to purchase programming they don’t want.” Arlen Spector added “When fans react, Congress reacts”. Then there were some quotes from John Kerry including these two gems: “You get MLB and DirecTV marshalling their forces to go out and make money while cutting out fans.” “There’s a whole movement toward fans being screwed by consolidation which raises prices and reduces options.”

When the dust settled on the hearing, MLB had agreed to broker a deal with IN Demand (owned by affiliates of Time Warner, Comcast, and Cox) who would then distribute the Extra Innings package to cable providers. Directv will likely remain the exclusive satellite provider for the baseball package. In conclusion, Senator Kerry added “Everyone kept talking and pressing until we had a deal that protects the rights of most fans to follow their hometown team.” Mr. Kerry- you are wrong. It’s not a right, it’s a privilege. And this deal is not good for Americans. One thing history has shown is that when there is governmental influence in commerce in trade matters leads to higher prices for everyone. So congratulations to all of you that grabbed your pitchforks and torches. I will pay more for my Directv because they won’t see the subscriber boost they expected and you will pay more for your cable because that’s what cable subscribers do, they raise your rates.

You’re welcome.

Lynn University in Florida has a course called “The Final Four Experience”. That’s right, the Final Four. Twelve students majoring in Sports Management plus a couple professors arrived in Atlanta last Wednesday to take in a Georgia Tech baseball game, an Atlanta Thrashers hockey game, and of course attendance at both NCAA National Semifinal games Saturday and the National Championship tonight. The students also toured the pro and college sports stadiums, and networked with team executives and sponsors, according to the AP report.

In exchange for the privilege and bounty bestowed upon the students, they’re required to do some work during the event- keep a diary/journal during their travels and make presentations regarding major sports facility and event operations. How about this: “Day One: Dear Diary, I am the luckiest mother f***er on the planet.” Day Two: “I can’t believe I’m actually getting three credits to attend the Final Four in person. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Tom Cruise.”

The AP article is filled with nauseating comments from the participating students about how the trip offers them insight into their major and the opportunity to network with like-minded professionals. It should instead have been filled with quotes like “I’m just living the dream” and “Lynn and his/her University is the greatest person-university combo on the planet”. My professors couldn’t even hook me up with a decent job interview in college; the profs at Lynn are scoring Final Four tickets for their students. If had any of my student loans left to pay, I’d stop.

Better still, one of the professors who organized the trip has his eye on some other great sporting events. Professor Theodore Curtis mentioned the football BCS championship game in New Orleans next year and the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. What’s next for the ‘ol course catalog- “The VP Hunting Experience” for Poly Sci majors? “The Strip Club Experience” for Pole Management majors? Or maybe “The Jimi Hendrix Experience” for Pharmacy majors?

Well, call me Rodney Dangerfield but I’m brushing up my transcripts and going back to school at lovely L.U. I’ll be the one with the grin plastered permanently on my face and the diary under my arm. See you in the classroom.