Whatever happened to the days when college meant drinking beer, chasing girls (or boys depending on your preference), and going to football games? Believe it or not, a group of colleges have started Quiddich teams and are, and I use the term loosely, “competing” with each other. Yes, I said Quiddich, the fictional game played by the students at Hogwarts in the Harry Potter books.

This Science Blog site tells the full tale…

http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2007/11/college_quidditch_teams_whatll.php

Granted, the schools involved don’t field BCS caliber football teams, but come on, Quiddich? Why can’t they stick to real college games like intramural flag football, Frisbee golf and maybe hackey-sack? (editor’s note: Isn’t there something Darwinian about the potential for one or more of said participants to take a broom stick to head, neck, thigh area?)

And don’t you just want to punch that Vassar guy in the face, just on general principle? (editor’s note: can’t talk, I’m on my way to Vassar to go punch that guy in the face).

Exactly one year ago today we hatched this little internet venture. We still don’t really know what we’re doing but are going to continue undeterred, like a dog running into a freshly cleaned sliding glass door.

In honor of our one year anniversary, we ever so slightly re-tooled our logo (emphasis on the tool) and changed our mantra to better reflect what we’re all about. Sports. Life. General absurdity. That about sums it up. We’re going to keep on keeping on until the money runs out or Al Gore invents a faster, more advanced internet that we can’t figure out.

You’re welcome.

We’re turning our attention, once again, squarely on Colin Cowherd in another episode of mythbusting. Not in defense of the Ohio State Buckeyes, but rather in defense of the truth. Colin has spent way more time than he should have over the last two days lambasting OSU’s non-conference schedule and drawing a line between it and the non-conference schedule of USC. He’s made the statement over and over the last two days “Ohio State picked up the phone and dialed W’s”. The implication is that USC’s non-conference schedule is representative of the non-conference schedules of the each of the other teams in the top ten. That simply isn’t true.

On paper, USC’s non-conference slate of Idaho, Nebraska, and Notre Dame is admirable. It certainly isn’t their fault that both Notre Dame and Nebraska decided to have historically bad seasons at the same time. That’s pretty much where the admiration ends though.

Getting honorable mention is Missouri who had two games out of conference against BCS conference teams (Illinois and Mississippi). Still, Missouri “dialed wins” booking Western Michigan and I-AA Illinois State for their other two non-conference tilts.

Georgia gets the same honorable mention for games against Oklahoma State and their rivalry game against Georgia Tech. Two cupcakes rounded out their non-conference schedule as well with games against I-AA Western Carolina and Troy.

The only other honorable mention goes to West Virginia, but it comes with an asterisk. The Mounties did schedule non-conference games against two teams from BCS conferences (Maryland, Mississippi State), but because the Big East is more a loose connection of teams (eight of ‘em) and less a full conference, they have to schedule five games out of conference which nearly forces two of them to be against “big boy” programs. WVU’s other three non-conference games include Western Michigan, Marshall (no, not that Marshall, the bad one), and East Carolina.

That’s one good schedule (on paper) and almost three honorable mentions. The rest of the top ten is crap. Total crap. Why Colin Cowherd chooses to focus all of his wrath on Ohio State is beyond me. He clearly has a problem with the system (as do I), but instead of directing his anger toward the system, he directs it toward the Buckeyes.

Yes Ohio State scheduled a I-AA opponent. Half of the top ten did this year. Yes Ohio State scheduled two in-state MAC opponents. According to Jeff Sagarin, the MAC ranks as a more difficult conference than the Sun Belt and Conference USA. Sun Belt teams Troy, Florida Atlantic, Florida International, and Middle Tennessee State show up on four of the top ten schedules. Conference USA teams East Carolina and Tulsa show up on three schedules in the Top Ten.

And if Colin Cowherd really wants to come after a team in the top ten, it should be Kansas. Kansas didn’t have a single non-conference game against an opponent from a BCS conference- a I-AA team, two MAC teams, and a Sun Belt team.

Be an informed college football fan and commit the following schedules to memory. Let actual data inform your opinions, and don’t ever take what you hear on the radio or TV as the truth. Unless it’s true.

Missouri- Illinois, Mississippi, Western Michigan, Illinois State (I-AA)
West Virginia- Western Michigan, Marshall, Maryland, East Carolina, Mississippi State
Ohio State- Youngstown State (I-AA), Akron, Washington, Kent State
Georgia- Oklahoma State, Western Carolina (I-AA), Troy, Georgia Tech
Kansas- Central Michigan, Southeastern Louisiana (I-AA), Toledo, Florida International
Virginia Tech- East Carolina, LSU, Ohio University, William & Mary (I-AA)
LSU- Virginia Tech, Middle Tennessee State, Tulane, Louisiana Tech
USC- Idaho, Nebraska, Notre Dame
Oklahoma- North Texas, Miami, Utah State, Tulsa
Florida- Western Kentucky, Troy, Florida Atlantic, Florida State

You’re welcome.

Another week, more upheaval in the Ocho. We’re on the home stretch with (some) conference championship games awaiting this Saturday.

If the season ended today, and I was chairman of the seeding committee for the Ocho 8-team D-I playoff, this is how the first round match ups would line up (note: first round match ups are at home for the higher-seeded team, second round and Championship games make use of existing BCS bowls):

# 8 Kansas at # 1 West Virginia
# 7 Oklahoma at # 2 Ohio State
# 6 Florida at # 3 Missouri
# 5 LSU at # 4 Georgia

How could you not get excited about the match ups above? Kansas getting a chance at second life, but having to go to Morgantown to play the Mountaineers at home. Oklahoma taking all that talent and speed to Columbus to face off against Ohio State. Florida getting a chance to test the “SEC is better” theory traveling on the road to play Missouri. And the SEC match up that never happened this year, LSU at Georgia.

Left out of the Ocho but likely still getting nice bowl bids would be USC, Virginia Tech, Boston College, and Hawaii among others.

You’re welcome.

The writers are still on strike in Hollywood, prompting me to finally pull the trigger on a Netflix membership. It’s all a conspiracy I tell you. Most shows will be on full hiatus no later than mid-December with several already off the air. Worse still, as of now, there still is no crisis for Jack Bauer to save us from. Damn those writers. At least they’re still contributing positively to the internet…

Miss Puerto Rico that is.

Pepper spray… Stolen equipment and personal stuff… Bomb threats??? Kinda makes some of our sports star’s excuses sound lame, doesn’t it?

Link to article

You’re welcome.

In the national media, there’s an unstoppable principle at work and it goes a lil’ something like this: If three or more journalists/radio hosts/tv hosts share the same opinion, it becomes public fact. If one person makes a statement, it’s just an interesting opinion. If a second person shares the same opinion, it starts to gain traction. If a third person iterates that opinion, it becomes fact and therefore part of the lexicon of the sport.

I don’t have a problem with national hosts sharing opinions- that’s what they’re paid to do. I do however have a problem when these clowns don’t use factual data to back up their points. One stat doesn’t make an argument, and sometimes two stats don’t either.

One of these opinions is that Ohio State, should they get into the National Championship by virtue of a WVU or Missouri loss, will lose in fantastic fashion just like they lost to Florida last year 41-14. It’s unfair to judge any team by their performance in one game, especially one that occurred last year. More to the point, it’s simply lazy and reckless journalism.

People like Colin Cowherd back the statement up by saying things like, “I’ve seen the SEC up close dawg, Ohio State can’t run with them”. Like using the word “dawg” instantly adds credibility to the statement. Or Dennis Dodd, who still stoops to using the term “luckeyes” when lamenting about the possibility of the Buckeyes “backing” into the National Championship. With that kind of ass-tastic logic, any team would be “backing into” the National Championship, with the exception of Hawaii who is the only undefeated team.

All Ohio State has done over the last three seasons is win all but four of their games. West Virginia has equaled that record over the last three years winning all but four games. USC? Lost five. LSU? Lost six. Florida? Lost seven. Oklahoma? Lost nine. Missouri? Lost eleven games over the last three years. I’m not saying that makes Ohio State and West Virginia superior teams over the last three years, I just don’t understand the hating. It’s disturbing that anyone with a national audience would hide their hatred for a team or university behind inaccurate and reckless comments such as those made by Colin Cowherd and Dennis Dodd.

Regarding everyone else, especially the portly fellow that my brother works with down in SEC country- you have a brain; use it. Don’t accept whatever opinion you hear on the radio or TV as fact. Use your brain to assess what is fact and what is factless opinion. And under no circumstance should any of you voice an opinion about a team unless you’ve seen them play at least twice in that season. If all you’re doing is “box scoring” and getting caught up in rhetoric, keep your trap shut because you simply don’t know what you’re talking about.

To that end, we thought it would be fun to take some of that “Colin Cowherd Logic” and present some opinions that simply must be true…

1.) Missouri will lose to Oklahoma because they’ve lost to them the last five times they’ve played.

2.) West Virginia will lose to any team that’s ranked 20th or better in rush defense (they lost to 20th best South Florida so it must be true).

3.) If Georgia should somehow meet West Virginia in the National Championship, they will lose because West Virginia beat Georgia in the 2006 Sugar Bowl.

4.) If Kansas plays any other team ranked in the top 25, they will lose because they’ve lost to the only team in the top 25 they’ve played this year (Missouri).

5.) Should Virginia Tech play any team in the top 5 ever again, they will lose. Since 1948, Virginia Tech is 1-24 against teams in the top 5.

6.) Should LSU play a team with an eight-letter-long school name, they will lose. They have lost to both eight letter schools they’ve played this year (Kentucky and Arkansas).

7.) USC will lose the next game they play that doesn’t get broadcast on ABC or ESPN. They have lost two games in a row on other networks- Oregon (FSN) and Stanford (VS). Thank god ESPN picked up the ASU game last week and saved USC the embarrassment of a three-loss season…

You feelin’ me dawg? You gettin’ me? Ignorance is dangerous man. Dangerous.

You’re welcome.

Granted, it fits with the Alum theme (e.g. Roger Clemens introducing the Longhorns on Friday), but I’m sure the NCAA didn’t love this one…

Monday Night’s game was the lowest scoring game in MNF history. This was partially due to the terrible field conditions (4 high school playoff games Friday, Pitt-USF Saturday, and torrential downpours) and partially due to the inept offenses of the Steelers and Fins.

Ricky “toke ‘em if you got ‘em” Williams returned to action on MNF, carrying 6 time for 15 yards. Guess he doesn’t like his grass that wet.

Thursday’s Packers-Cowboys game…Brett Favre is 0-8 lifetime at Texas Stadium.

David Garrard still hasn’t thrown an INT all year and has a passer rating of 103.1.

Justin Fargas (son of Antonio “Huggy Bear” Fargas of Starsky & Hutch fame) ran for 139 yards against KC. He’s the first Raider back to eclipse 100 yards against the Chiefs in 29 years (Arthur Whittington, 134 yards, November 5, 1978).

LT joined the 10,000 yard club with 77 yards on 24 carries.

Note to Mike Shanahan… Devin Hester is good, real good. Do not kick to him, ever.

Note to all remaining Pats opponents… Asante Samuel is good, real good. Do not throw near him, ever.

Archie and Peyton should have beat on Eli a little more when he was a kid and toughened him up. What a wimp. Note to Giants front office… Philip Rivers went 25-of-34 for 249 yards and 3 TDs. Ouch.

For any PAC-10 AD’s looking to fill out their schedules…check with the NFL. The AFC West and NFC West have only two NFL-caliber teams…the rest might be good early season tune-ups for most PAC-10 teams.

Rumor is that Big East Commish Mike Tranghese is looking to upgrade the conference by adding the Jets and Dolphins. Problem is the Fins may only be the third best football team in the state behind UF and USF. And the Jets might be the third best team that plays in New Jersey behind the Giants and Rutgers. Geez, maybe he should bring back Temple. The Owls have twice as many wins this year as The Jets and Fins combined.

The problem with college football, as we’ve wrote many times before, is that without a playoff, highly subjective discussion is not only allowed, it’s strongly encouraged and often subsidized. Our mission (among many) is to fight for a playoff and provide truth wherever possible.

We present to you another round of statistics for your use in fighting the good fight. That’s not to say these statistics provide direct support for one argument or another- that’s opinion. We’re simply providing statistical facts to you so that you can speak authoritatively when telling your favorite fan to shut their traps.

This round focuses on the out-of-conference records of BCS conferences vs. other BCS conferences this year. I think you’ll agree, the results are at the very least surprising given most of the rhetoric this year focusing on how great the SEC is and how bad the Big Ten is. It’s also interesting to note that the two teams currently slated for the BCS National Championship come from the two conferences at the bottom of this list.

Additional analysis shows that of the records below, no BCS conference has two wins out of conference against teams currently ranked in the BCS Top 25. The SEC, Big 12, Big East, and Pac-10 each have one win against an out-of-conference team currently ranked in the BCS, and all of those wins came in either the first or second week of the season. None are really inspiring, with the exception of LSU’s win over current # 6 Virginia Tech by 41 points. The Pac-10 owns a win with Cal’s 14-point win over # 14 Tennessee. The Big 12 has a win with Missouri’s 6-point over # 15 Illinois. And the Big East has a win with South Florida’s 3-point win over # 24 Auburn.

You’re welcome.

We’re on the home stretch. We’re hurtling toward something, not sure what it is or if it’s what college football really needs, but we’re hurtling. The upsets continued yet again this weekend and despite the BCS seeming like it’s going to “work itself out”, it’s a mess. A complete mess. So were my picks…

The scoreboard:
Tennessee -v- Kentucky
I wrote “Tennessee is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get until Coach Fulmer bites into each one. Beat South Carolina by 3 points. Blow out Arkansas by 21. Squeak by Vanderbilt by 1. Welcome to Volunteer football. Kentucky is 7-4 and 3-4 in the SEC East; Tennessee is playing for the SEC East title and a chance to play in the SEC Championship game. Kentucky is favored by 2.5. I like UK to not only cover but win.” I’m calling this a moral victory for me since this game went into four overtimes and Kentucky squandered multiple opportunities to take the win. The biggest opportunity coming in the second overtime when Kentucky intercepted Tennessee and then only need a chip shot field goal to win, but of course it was blocked because that’s what Kentucky does- squander chances at victory.

Uconn -v- West Virginia
I wrote “Connecticut hasn’t played anyone the caliber of West Virginia this year (wins over Duke, Maine, Temple, Pittsburgh, Akron, Louisville, South Florida, Rutgers, Syracuse) and they already have losses to 9-2 Virginia and 8-3 Cincinnati. I’d like to think Connecticut can cover the 18.5 points here but considering they already lost by 24 to Cincy, I don’t see any reason to think this game is going to be close. Turnovers will be Uconn’s only salvation, otherwise, it’s going to be ugly.” Turnovers weren’t Uconn’s salvation, losing by 45 points in Morgantown. Turnovers went the other way for Uconn with three fumbles, two of which resulted in touchdowns for WVU.

The game wasn’t all rosy for West Virginia, despite the final score. Connecticut dominated the time of possession holding the ball for nearly nine minutes longer than West Virginia. Connecticut also rolled up nearly 400 yards of offense getting 203 yards rushing and 189 yards passing. West Virginia continued its’ one-sidedness on offense with Pat White only attempting only 13 passes for 107 yards. It’s very clear that Rich Rodriguez is going to ride Pat White as far as he can go, but know that if Pat White goes down injured against Pittsburgh or in the National Championship, WVU is going to be in serious trouble.

Georgia -v- Georgia Tech
I wrote: “The only wild card here is GT Senior RB Tashard Choice- Choice has put together a nice year gaining nearly 1,200 yards without a fumble and is getting 5.3 yards per carry. Georgia has a good rush defense but if Choice can have some success and continues to take care of the football, the Yellow Jackets have a chance. On the flip side, Georgia Tech has the 9th ranked rush defense, which means if they can force Georgia to pass, it’s Matthew Stafford time. Stafford is having a better year than he had last year, but has thrown 4 TD’s and 4 INT’s in his last three games. Add to that the fact that Georgia Tech leads the country in sacks (46) and that equals my “walk of shame pick of the week”. I like Georgia Tech to at least cover and possibly win.”

Tashard Choice got 5.4 yards per carry but unfortunately, Georgia Tech Junior QB Taylor Bennett had his worst game statistically throwing 9/27 for 137 yards, one touchdown, one interception. That kind of production in the quarterback position isn’t going to get it done against a MAC or a WAC opponent, let alone. Georgia. On the flip side, Georgia Tech was not able to force Georgia to pass. Georgia got perfect balance throwing for 214 and rushing for 218. They got three touchdowns on the ground and one through the air. Georgia QB was decent (not good) going 14-29 for 219 yards in the win. Georgia Tech was not able to get consistent pressure on Stafford, getting only one sack, which came in the first quarter. I’m disappointed that I missed on the pick, but I’m sure Chan Gailey’s more disappointed, especially because Georgia Tech fired him today.

Kansas -v- Missouri
I wrote: “Missouri leads Kansas in sacks 25-19 and also leads in sacks against 16-20 which means Missouri should be able to get more pressure on KU and conversely protect Chase Daniel. Missouri has a bad pass defense which means if they don’t get heavy pressure Todd Reesing, they will pay. Both teams have bad punt teams but great kickoff returns which means special teams could be verrrry interesting. I like Missouri to win and move on for a re-match with Oklahoma.”

This game was a tale of two halves- Missouri applied pressure in the right places and dominated the first half; Kansas applied pressure in the right places and dominated the second half. When you consider the two missed field goals by Kansas, the game basically worked to a draw.

I like Missouri- they’re a nice team. The Chase Daniel story is a good one- and the balance they’re passing on offense is diverse. However, against a stronger back seven in the national championship, Missouri is going to have to get more yards on the ground. Also, the Missouri pass defense is a serious problem. I repeat- any of you who think that this Missouri team without a doubt belongs in the national championship is wrong. Dead wrong. Missouri is 103rd against the pass nationally and they gave up 349 yards passing to Kansas. Missouri gave up 266 yards passing to Oklahoma in their first meeting, and I’m guessing they’re going to give up more than that this Saturday.

In other games…
Still question how valuable Dennis Dixon was to the Oregon Ducks? Oregon lost 16-0 to a 6-5 UCLA team, the same UCLA team that lost to Notre Dame. Oregon got 148 total yards of offense. Total. That’s it. It actually got worse for Oregon when backup QB Brady Leaf also left the game with injury. Third-stringer Freshman Cody Kempt went 6/23 for 52 yards and two interceptions. Ouch.

Oklahoma drilled Oklahoma State in Norman 49-17. Sam Bradford went 13-17 for 180 yards and four touchdowns. Allen Patrick proved to Sooner fans that he’s the best back in the stable getting 202 yards on 29 carries for two scores. On the other side of the ball, OU limited the 8th ranked offense nationally (in yardage) to 17 points and 299 yards. Prior to that game, Oklahoma State had been averaging almost 500 yards per game and 33 points.

Much more to come this week.

Football would be a lot better with more honest officiating. It doesn’t get much more honest than this. Enjoy.

I meant to get this post up on Friday morning but I was slightly “detained”, what with all the post-Thanksgiving shopping. Without going into details, let’s just say the detainment involved a shopping basket, an HD DVD player, and some punk who doesn’t think line rules apply to him. Without further ado…

The weather:

USC -v- Arizona State
The post-mortem on the Sun Devils beat down at the hands of the Trojans is an ugly report. Upon further review, the Sun Devils are a perfect microcosm of what college football is this year. ASU had risen to 7th in the AP, 6th in the Harris, and 6th in the BCS. Coming into this game, ASU had wins over San Jose State, Colorado, San Diego State, Oregon State, Stanford, Washington State, Washington, Cal, and UCLA. Good for the 26th toughest strength of schedule according to Sagarin but not impressive by the “historical name” test.

Statistically, Arizona State ranked in the top half of nearly every key statistic, but they had one big flaw that was exploited by USC Thursday night, and in a big way. The Sun Devils are the worst team in protecting the Quarterback among the top ten teams, and it showed against USC to the tune of six sacks.

USC got pressure on Rudy Carpenter all night long and along the way, they also completely shut down the run, holding ASU to 16 net yards on 35 carries. Carpenter still performed admirably throwing 21/30 for 240 yards, but one-dimensional offense against a good team equals a loss almost every time. Now USC just needs a win over UCLA and an Oregon loss (two chances for that) and USC will be headed to the Rose Bowl in a next-season-preview of their match up with Ohio State. USC and Ohio State have a home and home the next two years, which would make their match up in the Rose Bowl even more special than it normally would be.

Ar-Kansas -v- LSU
I think we’re officially past the equilibrium point where now upsets no longer feel like upsets. LSU was a 13.5 point favorite at home to Arkansas, and yet soccer moms making small talk at the grocery check-out lane yesterday probably dropped a “I don’t Madge…LSU might lose Friday; that Darren McFadden is something else” comment. If ever there were a year for an 8-team playoff, this would be it. Forget about two undefeated teams at the end of the year. It’s completely plausible that there could only be one one-loss team and a host of two-lossers at the end of the season. And no two-loss team has ever played in the BCS National Championship. If Kansas loses to Missouri, Missouri loses to Oklahoma, and West Virginia loses to…itself, which two loss team does Ohio State play in the national championship? For all of the BCS apologists that always say “it’ll work out by the end of the season”, I hope it doesn’t.

Back to Arkansas/LSU- was it the distraction of Les Miles potentially going to Michigan? Was it the pressure of being #1 that got to LSU? Only the players can answer that question. No matter, giving up 385 yards on the ground to Arkansas simply isn’t going to get it done. Arkansas is one of the very best rushing teams in the country, but don’t make excuses- Arkansas rushed for almost 100 yards more than their per game average against LSU. Worse still, Razorback QB Casey Dick only passed for 94 yards on 10/18 attempts, yet LSU still couldn’t stop the run.

That’s the anatomy of an upset. The favored team has an off-game and loses. The underdog isn’t good enough to be consistently good, but good enough to play like a champion for one game. It’s not a new formula but the frequency of its occurrence in 2007 is surprising. There will still be some people nationally that will argue that a two-loss SEC team still deserves to be in the National Championship. Save your breath and instead argue for a playoff. That’s what we really need.

Tennessee -v- Kentucky
Tennessee is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get until Coach Fulmer bites into each one. Beat South Carolina by 3 points. Blow out Arkansas by 21. Squeak by Vanderbilt by 1. Welcome to Volunteer football. Kentucky is 7-4 and 3-4 in the SEC East; Tennessee is playing for the SEC East title and a chance to play in the SEC Championship game. Kentucky is favored by 2.5. I like UK to not only cover but win.

Connecticut -v- West Virginia
Think Connecticut is a quality team and should count as a “quality” win should West Virginia win Saturday? Vegas sure doesn’t. West Virginia is an 18.5 point favorite. Yeah- how’s that for a potential “quality” win. Of WVU’s two remaining games, this one will be the “tougher” one given that they’ll probably be an even bigger favorite vs. Pittsburgh next week. Connecticut hasn’t played anyone the caliber of West Virginia this year (wins over Duke, Maine, Temple, Pittsburgh, Akron, Louisville, South Florida, Rutgers, Syracuse) and they already have losses to 9-2 Virginia and 8-3 Cincinnati. I’d like to think Connecticut can cover the 18.5 points here but considering they already lost by 24 to Cincy, I don’t see any reason to think this game is going to be close. Turnovers will be Uconn’s only salvation, otherwise, it’s going to be ugly.

Georgia -v- Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech has been the same inconsistent anomaly this year, but without Reggie Ball to blame. Talk about frustration. Maybe Ty Willingham can be implicated somehow. The mission is easy for Georgia- win + UT loss = SEC Championship game. Georgia’s average margin of victory this year has been 10.6 points which is why they’re only favored by 3.5 over a 7-4 Georgia Tech team. Mark Richt has had just enough crazy to keep Georgia rolling, but one has to wonder if a collapse is around the corner. GT is coming off a 2-point win at home to North Carolina which feels more like a loss.

The only wild card here is GT Senior RB Tashard Choice- Choice has put together a nice year gaining nearly 1,200 yards without a fumble and is getting 5.3 yards per carry. Georgia has a good rush defense but if Choice can have some success and continues to take care of the football, the Yellow Jackets have a chance. On the flip side, Georgia Tech has the 9th ranked rush defense, which means if they can force Georgia to pass, it’s Matthew Stafford time. Stafford is having a better year than he had last year, but has thrown 4 TD’s and 4 INT’s in his last three games. Add to that the fact that Georgia Tech leads the country in sacks (46) and that equals my “walk of shame pick of the week”. I like Georgia Tech to at least cover and possibly win.

Oregon -v- UCLA
Oregon minus Dennis Dixon is like a Hummer with four spare tires- much less intimidating and even worse gas mileage. Oregon has sustained so heavy injuries this year and it’s finally caught up with them. Oregon is going to lose at least one of their last two games- either this one or next week against Oregon State. Take your pick. Oregon is favored by 1 point this year. That means Dennis Dixon is worth at least 21 points because if he were able to play, the line would be 22+.

Missouri -v- Kansas
Everybody knows what’s at stake here- the winner goes on to play Oklahoma in the Big XII Championship game and “controls their destiny” regarding a path to the national championship. Kansas is favored by 1.5 which means it’s basically a pick ‘em. I’ve given you oodles of statistics on both these teams leading up to this game, but sometimes you just have to go with your turkey-filled gut. And my turkey-filled gut says Missouri. I like Missouri for two reasons- first, they’ve been tested. They’ve beaten Illinois, Texas Tech, and Texas A&M, and lost to Oklahoma. The only test Kansas has gotten was at A&M where they won by 8 points. That doesn’t mean Kansas isn’t a good team, but in such a high profile game like this, that give a decided advantage to Missouri.

Also, I like the edge in sacks. Missouri leads Kansas in sacks 25-19 and also leads in sacks against 16-20 which means Missouri should be able to get more pressure on KU and conversely protect Chase Daniel. Missouri has a bad pass defense which means if they don’t get heavy pressure Todd Reesing, they will pay. Both teams bad punt teams but great kickoff returns which means special teams could be verrrry interesting.

I like Missouri to win and move on for a re-match with Oklahoma.

You’re welcome.

Doing some holiday shopping for the kids this weekend? Maybe going out at 5am Friday after Thanksgiving? You might want to scratch the toys below off your list. The W.A.T.C.H (World Against Toys Causing Harm) group has released their annual “10 worst toys list”, and several of them are just too good not to mention (and for our attorney’s sake, we strongly recommend you not purchase any of these):

1.) Go, Diego Go Animal Rescue Boat by Fisher Price- The toys have been recalled because “surface paints on the toys contain excessive levels of lead”. The toys should be off the shelves at your local toy store but beware of “good deals” on this baby when you’re cruising e-bay or Craig’s List.

2.) Sticky Stones by Geocentral- This toy, which is marketed as “powerful magnetic iron ore” has the potential to cause severe internal injuries if swallowed. Why would your child swallow a bunch of magnetic rocks? Never mind that. If more than one magnet is swallowed, they can attach inside the body, potentially causing intestinal perforation, infection, or blockage which can become fatal. I think as long as the phrase “potential intestinal perforation” makes it onto the packaging, you’ll probably have enough sense to avoid this.

3.) Jack Sparrow’s Spinning Dagger by Zizzle- No, I’m not making that up. How in the world could a hard plastic spinning dagger potentially be hazardous? Gosh- I just have no idea. The W.A.T.C.H website warns about “the potential for eye or other serious impact injuries”. How else are your kids going to become pirates (you know- eye patch)?

4.) Dora the Explorer Lamp by Funhouse- Who doesn’t like Dora the Explorer? She’s spunky, bi-lingual, and has a kick-ass monkey for a sidekick. The warnings on this lamp should raise a few suspicions…”This is an electric lamp, not a toy! To avoid risk of fire, burns, personal injury, and electric shock, it should not be played with or placed where small children can reach it.” Additionally, the packaging warns to “unplug the product when leaving the house, when retiring for the night, or if left unattended.” I guess Dora’s a kleptomaniac- I guess I missed that episode.

5.) Lil’ “Giddy Up” Horse - Sassy Pet Saks by Douglas- These are soft plush horses that come with their own lil’ carrying purse. Apparently, the purse has a “…small, wooden bead as well as long, fiber-like hair that is not adequately rooted and is easily removable.” The toy is marketed to infants and toddlers which makes the construction a choking hazard.

6.) Spider Man 3 New Goblin Sword by Hasbro- This little beauty is marketed by Hasbro as “one of the most awesome weapons ever wielded by human hands!” George Bush might fall for that but I know you’re too smart for it. The rigid, plastic spring-action blade swiftly extends at the push of a button to a length of “over 3 feet long!”. W.A.T.C.H. warns of “the potential to cause serious facial and other impact injuries”. Geesh, I wonder why?

7.) Hip Hoppa by Spin Master, Ltd. and Vivid Imaginations, Ltd.- This is basically a pogo stick with a dodge ball attached on the bottom of it. The instructions caution that “improper dismount will result in loss of balance and possible injury”. You can pretty much put this warning on any toy that can be stood on, ridden, or bounced on. Not sure what makes this one any different, other than the dope name.

8.) B’Loonies Party Pack by Ja-Ru Inc.- Stay with me close on this one- young children (ages 6+) are encouraged to squeeze out a ball of plastic from one of the B’Loonies squeeze tubes. The children are then supposed to “stick it on the end of the blowpipe” presumably to make “B’Loonies”. The “gooey concoction” contains (among other things) poly vinyl acetate, ethyl acetate, and “plastic fortifiers” whatever those are. The manufacturer also warns that the mixture is flammable and “do not use near fire or flames”. Let me stop there. First of all, unless you’re training your children to work in a plastic factory, this toy is probably not for you. Second, if you’re letting your children play with any toys around “fire or flames”, you need to be listed on this top ten.

9.) My Little Baby Born by Entertainment, Inc. and Zapf Creations AG- This cute little baby doll comes with a tiny plastic pacifier which fails the toy industry’s small parts “choke tube” test.

10.) Rubber Band Shooter by Simple Toys LLC- say it with me…”you’ll shoot your eye out”. The language on the packaging reads “For target practice only, do not aim at people.” They should have finished that sentence with “until you get good enough from practicing”. Kids sure are spoiled these days. When I was a kid, we had a rubber band shooter- it was called “the index finger”. It didn’t come with any fancy warnings, but it also didn’t cost $6.50.

You’re welcome.

Wherever you are today, we wish you a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

Our website is almost a year old, so in honor of that, we thought it’d be fun to bring back one of our first posts. Just in time for Thanksgiving, here’s a little ditty we put together in disgust after watching last year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Missing: The Real Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Scour the country… someone has stolen the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. In its place on Thanksgiving morning was an insufferable combination of bad lip-syncing, uncomfortable emceeing, and an endless parade of interviews with NBC “stars” promoting their “hit” shows. This whorification exhibited by NBC is inexcusable. What’s on tap for next year, splitting the screen into quarters and running “Law & Order: Thanksgiving” on three sides?

Also mixed in was a 45-minute commercial for Broadway, which by itself, I’m fine with. Culture (the noun) in this country is nearly bankrupt. But putting the Tony Awards in a Thanksgiving costume and passing it off to the general public is not acceptable.

I think I saw a few floats. Maybe a marching band or two and some cheerleaders, but not sure. As soon as the clock hit 15 seconds on a band, the cameras zoomed off to other things while Matt & Meredith threw down some schticky banter. At least Santa was still invited, but they managed to roll credits over top of him. Ho, ho, ho.

And worst of all, while gathered around the tv with my young children, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a tv ad for “Save Darfur.org” which mentioned burning bodies, rape, and genocide. Pass the rolls please. I appreciate calls for social responsibility and activism, but warn me so I can cover my children’s eyes and ears. I don’t know if NBC fully embraced this ad or if it was some sort of guerrilla advertising that snuck on; either way it was and is completely unacceptable. There are better ways to educate America than to shock and frighten children watching an innocent (albeit nearly unwatchable) parade.

If anyone happens to find the real Macy’s parade, call NBC immediately. I’ve got some leftover turkey I’ll offer up as a reward.

There isn’t much sand left in the college football hourglass this year, and we’d prefer you speak intelligently during what’s left. For the second week in a row, we present to you the raw numbers for your use and consideration. Fight the good fight against anyone spewing vague and unsubstantiated comments about college football-please.

The BCS rankings are made up of 2/3rd’s human opinion and 1/3rd computer opinion. I don’t know if you’ve seen the film “I, Robot”, in case you haven’t, computers are smarter than us. In all seriousness, the reason why I trust the computers over the humans is simple- humans are unwilling to admit that they were wrong. Computers have no problem sliding one team down a spot or two from one week to the next because they don’t have feelings (read “ego”). It is a very rare occurrence for the humans to move a team down unless they lose, or they’re Hawaii.

Therefore, the average computer ranking in comparison to the overall BCS ranking sheds light on human biases present in the polls. Missouri is getting favor by the humans- ranked 6th in the ‘puters, but 3rd in both the AP and the Harris. This blogger suspects this is in part because Missouri’s only loss has come against Oklahoma, who has been getting way too much credit this year. I think part of the other benefit Missouri is getting is a bump from the Heisman machine. Without a clear Heisman frontrunner, the Heisman machine is jamming names down our throat like Chase Daniel, who at this point is probably a household name (”Honey, pass the Chase Daniel please”).

If Missouri’s getting a benefit, who’s getting the short end? Arizona State and Ohio State, that’s who. Both teams are tied with West Virginia for 3rd in the computer polls yet 7th and 5th in the AP and 6th/5th in the Harris poll.

Also getting favor (still) is Oklahoma, who is 13th in the computers but 10th in the AP and 9th in Harris, which is good for 10th in the BCS. Two-loss Texas is 17th in the computers yet 11th in Harris and 13th in the AP, good for 13th overall in the BCS. And Hawaii, yes Hawaii, is 22nd in the computers but 14th in the AP, 13th in the Harris, good for 15th in the AP. That’s borderline Notre Dame-type benefit.

The undisputed against the spread (A-T-S) champ continues to be Kansas, who is a sterling 10-0 vs. Vegas. Kansas is currently favored by 2 1/2 over Missouri, so that a-t-s streak may be coming to an end. Also good against the spread have been Missouri and Oregon (both 8-2) and Ohio State (7-4). Frustrating degenerate gamblers more than a cable outage has been Virginia Tech (5-5), LSU (4-6-1), and the aforementioned Hawaii, who despite being undefeated is 3-5 against the spread. You may be asking yourself why some of the a-t-s figures don’t total the actual number of games played- that’s because Vegas doesn’t put lines down when teams play high school opponents.

I’ve included two strength of schedule (S.O.S.) measures this week- one provided by the NCAA based on opponents’ win-loss records, and the other being Sagarin. When looking at the NCAA figures, it’s fascinating that the degree of difficulty is vast: 3-loss Florida has the 4th toughest schedule and two-loss Oregon has the 6th toughest schedule. Of the one-loss and undefeated teams, LSU has the toughest schedule, ranked 32nd, followed by Ohio State at 42nd. USC’s is 104th, undefeated Kansas’ is 105th, Hawaii comes in at 119 (out of 119 D-I teams).

By Sagarin strength of schedule, Florida once again comes out on top at 9th, followed by Oregon at 14th. Of the one-lossers, Arizona State leads the way at 26th followed by LSU at 27th and West Virginia at 42nd. On the bottom end again is Oklahoma (69th), Kansas (101st), and Hawaii (153rd). Ughhh.

Taking a gander at teams’ records vs. the Sagarin top 30, more fun facts jump off the page. Of the BCS top 15, only two teams don’t have a win or a loss over a team in the current Sagarin top 30- ironically, they’re the two teams left undefeated- Hawaii and Kansas. Well, whaddya know. Teams with better than .500 records include LSU (3-1), Missouri (2-1), Ohio State (2-1), Georgia (3-1), Oregon (3-0), Oklahoma (2-1), and Boston College (2-1). Teams at or below .500 vs. the Sagarin top 30 include West Virginia (1-1), Arizona State (1-1), Virginia Tech (2-2), USC (1-1), Florida (2-3), and Texas (1-1).

Looking at average margin of victory, only one team in the BCS top 15 is averaging more than 30 points per game in victory margin- Kansas at 31.6. Several teams are in the 20-25 point range including Oklahoma (25), Hawaii (24.5), LSU (22.1), West Virginia (21.9), and Ohio State (21.3). Keeping games a lot closer is Boston College (9.8), Georgia (10.6), and Texas (13.1).

Turnover margin continues to be a big part of the formula for some of the top teams, starting with Kansas who is # 1 in the country in turnover margin. LSU is not far behind at # 3 followed by Virginia Tech at # 8. The top 15 team struggling with turnovers surprisingly is USC who ranks 85th nationally followed by Texas at # 71.

Hawaii leads the top 15 in most offensive categories, despite hardly rushing the ball at all. Hawaii ranks 1st in scoring, 2nd in pass offense, 2nd in total offense, but 115th in rushing offense. Another team that is getting it done throwing the mail instead of carrying it is Boston College who ranks 7th in pass offense but 104th in rushing. West Virginia gets it done exactly the opposite way- 14th ranked overall offense, 3rd ranked rushing offense but 107th passing O.

The most balanced team (statistically) in the top 15 is Kansas- ranking 15th in rushing, 16th in passing, and 2nd in scoring. Most balanced after Kansas would have to be Missouri who is 5th in passing, 37th in rushing, and 6th in scoring. Texas, Florida, and Oklahoma are all also getting good production from both the run and the pass.

Several teams are getting tremendous efficiency out of their passing game as well- six of the top ten pass efficiency teams are in the BCS top 15- Florida (# 1), Oklahoma (# 2), Hawaii (# 3), Kansas (# 6), Missouri (# 8), and Arizona State (# 9). On the wrong end of passing efficiency is Georgia (# 56), USC (# 54), and Virginia Tech (# 52).

On the defensive side, Ohio State continues to hold a commanding statistical advantage over nearly all other teams in the top 15. Ohio State is # 1 in scoring defense, # 1 in pass defense, # 1 in total defense, and # 3 in rush defense. Ohio State also leads the top 15 in sacks with 42, six more than the next closest- Virginia Tech. The second best defense statistically goes to LSU who is 9th in scoring, 9th against the pass, 4th against the run, and 2nd overall. LSU also has 32 sacks on the season. Third place defense goes to USC who is 6th in scoring, 5th against the pass, 10th against the rush, and 3rd in yardage overall.

Statistical evidence shows that Florida is getting torched by the deep ball- they’re 40th in yards per game and 14th against the rush, but 94th against the pass and 49th in scoring.

Also struggling somewhat on defense is Missouri who is 33rd in scoring defense and 25th against the rush, but 96th against the pass.

Other teams getting gouged by the pass are Texas (103rd), Oregon (104th), and Boston College (108th).

Not surprisingly some of the teams worst against the pass are also worst in the sack department confirming that they’re not getting pressure on the opposing quarterback. Kansas is worst in the top 15 in sacks (19) but is still managing a respectable 41st against the pass. Boston College only has 20 sacks and are 108th against the pass. Texas has 21 sacks and is 103rd against the pass. Florida only has 23 sacks and is 94th against the pass. How’s that for a correlation?

The most telling defensive statistic of all is rush defense- no team in the BCS top 15 is ranked worse than 36th (Oregon is # 36). That makes it pretty clear that of all the statistical categories, stopping the run correlates most directly to the success of a team. Ten of the best fifteen teams against the run are in the BCS top 15.

In the special teams category, there are just a few numbers that stand out. First is that Arizona State is converting 95% on field goals and West Virginia isn’t far behind converting nearly 91%. On the flip side is Boston College who is only converting 71.4%.

In punting, Florida is tops in the top fifteen at 10th nationally. BC is not far behind at 15th, as is Georgia at 20th. Four teams are struggling mightily in net punting- USC (100th), Kansas (101st), Hawaii (107th), and Missouri who is dead last at 119th.

Virginia Tech (114th) is struggling in kickoff returns as is Ohio State (117th). In punt returns, Boston College (113th), LSU (104th), and Kansas (102nd) are all struggling.

You’re welcome.

Following Alabama’s 21-14 loss Saturday to 5-6 Sun Belt “power” Louisiana Monroe, ‘Bama Coach “Bear” Saban had this to say:

“Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event,” Saban said during the opening remarks of his weekly news conference. “It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event.”

At first, I dismissed these comments as yet another athlete or coach losing their way amidst a forest of language, historical references, and metaphors. Upon further review, I cannot let a couple things go.

Saban’s use of qualifiers is staggering (I know- pot calling the kettle black)- 9-11 didn’t “sort of” change the American spirit, it had a deep impact to the American Spirit, and Pearl Harbor didn’t “kind of” get us ready for WWII, it was the catalyst for the United States to enter the war.

Worse is the general concept of comparing in any way, shape, or form, the catastrophic loss of American lives to a 6-5 SEC team losing to a 5-6 Sun Belt team. It’s not as if “Bear” didn’t have a half dozen readily available examples to cite in college football from this year alone (AppState-Michigan, Stanford-USC, etc.).

Reckless metaphorical swashbuckling is fine for the locker room, but keep it in there Saban. Of all the people in college football that should exercise caution at the podium, it should be Saban especially after the Dolphins-Crimson Tide debacle.

Roll Tide.

If this doesn’t win a daytime Emmy, I’m never watching television again. (Editor’s note: thankfully, Maury kept his pickle in the jar during the taping of this episode).