The Way Back Machine

Wherever you are today, we wish you a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

Our website is almost a year old, so in honor of that, we thought it’d be fun to bring back one of our first posts. Just in time for Thanksgiving, here’s a little ditty we put together in disgust after watching last year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Missing: The Real Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Scour the country… someone has stolen the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. In its place on Thanksgiving morning was an insufferable combination of bad lip-syncing, uncomfortable emceeing, and an endless parade of interviews with NBC “stars” promoting their “hit” shows. This whorification exhibited by NBC is inexcusable. What’s on tap for next year, splitting the screen into quarters and running “Law & Order: Thanksgiving” on three sides?

Also mixed in was a 45-minute commercial for Broadway, which by itself, I’m fine with. Culture (the noun) in this country is nearly bankrupt. But putting the Tony Awards in a Thanksgiving costume and passing it off to the general public is not acceptable.

I think I saw a few floats. Maybe a marching band or two and some cheerleaders, but not sure. As soon as the clock hit 15 seconds on a band, the cameras zoomed off to other things while Matt & Meredith threw down some schticky banter. At least Santa was still invited, but they managed to roll credits over top of him. Ho, ho, ho.

And worst of all, while gathered around the tv with my young children, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a tv ad for “Save Darfur.org” which mentioned burning bodies, rape, and genocide. Pass the rolls please. I appreciate calls for social responsibility and activism, but warn me so I can cover my children’s eyes and ears. I don’t know if NBC fully embraced this ad or if it was some sort of guerrilla advertising that snuck on; either way it was and is completely unacceptable. There are better ways to educate America than to shock and frighten children watching an innocent (albeit nearly unwatchable) parade.

If anyone happens to find the real Macy’s parade, call NBC immediately. I’ve got some leftover turkey I’ll offer up as a reward.