Viewing Guide: Bowl Season Volume I

Last year about this time we put together some quasi-helpful viewing guides for the bowl games. Not the standard issue analysis mind you, we’re saving that for the bowl games of greater consequence. No, for the appetizer games, we’re taking the liberty of honoring the rich tradition of games like the Papajohns.com bowl by renaming the games to more appropriately reflect the match ups. Of course we welcome your suggestions for the naming rights as well, so feel free to send them to editor@redrenee.com or leave ‘em as comments below.

Without further ado…

Cash and Flowers (aka the “San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl”)
Utah vs. Navy / San Diego / December 20th, 9pm / ESPN

Of mild interest will be the # 1 WAC defense against the prolific rushing attack of Paul Johnson-less Navy. Utah is favored by 8. Whoopee!

The Schnellenbowl (aka the “R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl”)
Memphis vs. Florida Atlantic / New Orleans / December 21st, 8pm / ESPN2

This game pits two 7-5 teams against each other- one from Conference USA and the other from the Sun Belt. Both teams have compelling stories with Florida Atlantic being a football team for all of six years and Memphis having to deal with the death of one of their players during the season. Memphis had a 2-point loss in their opener to Ole Miss and didn’t see much after that. FAU boasts a win over Minnesota (an accomplishment which is neither unique nor boastable) and quality blowout losses to Oklahoma State, Kentucky, and Florida. The line is FAU by 2.5 so expect a close game and some entertaining quotes from FAU’s Coach Howard Schnellenberger.

The Tell Me You Love Me Bowl (aka the “PapaJohns.com Bowl”)
Cincinnati vs. Southern Miss / Birmingham / December 22nd, 1pm / ESPN2

After 17 years Southern Miss told Coach Jeff Bowers how much they love him by forcing him to resign. Meanwhile, Cincinnati first year head coach Brian Kelly was seemingly prostituting himself for half a dozen jobs all the while holding the Cincy “Board of Important People” hostage to show him the love. Cincinnati Administration said “uncle” rewarding Kelly with a new 5-year contract worth between $1.2 and $1.4 million per year. Bearcat fans need to know that they’re going to get Petrinoed at some point in the near future so enjoy this bowl game. I like the Bearcats to win by at least two touchdowns.

The Screw it, We’re Naming a Bowl After Ourselves and Playing it Here Bowl, Part I (aka the “New Mexico Bowl”)
New Mexico vs. Nevada / Albuquerque / December 22nd, 4:30pm / ESPN

If you’re a loyal Red Renee reader, you know we used this game title last year. That would make us either lazy or traditionalists- you choose. This game marks the appearance of the first 6-6 team of the holiday season (Nevada). Congratulations Nevada- you’re one win away from either a 54% or a 46% winning percentage- nice job! If you’ve watched Nevada at all this year (and I have), you know that watching QB Colin Kaepernick was like watching a screaming person ride a psychotic horse into a burning barn. At times he’s brilliant and other times he’s….well, he’s a scholarship player at Nevada. If you ever laid money on the Wolfpack this season, may God have mercy on your soul. Still, the Nevada offense has got talent and possibilities, it’s the defense that’s the problem ranking 97th in scoring D. The New Mexico offense isn’t that good so I’m going to take Nevada and that crazy horse for a close win.

The Anybody? Does Anybody Want this Job Bowl (aka the “Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl”)
BYU vs. UCLA / Las Vegas / December 22nd, 8:00pm / ESPN

The Mountain West winner vs. the embarrassment of the Pac-Ten, who is without a coach and riddled with injuries. I know what you’re thinking- this is definitely better than a playoff. Yah, me too. Way better. If BYU doesn’t win this game I’m dropping Mitt Romney like a hanging chad.

The Naming Rights Are For Sale Bowl (aka the “Sheraton Hawaii Bowl”)
Boise State vs. East Carolina / Honolulu / December 23rd, 8:00pm / ESPN

Seriously, we couldn’t come up with a name for this bowl. So to the highest bidder, we’ll name this thing whatever you decide. Everything points to a big Boise State win here but truthfully, if I’ve seen East Carolina play this year, I can’t remember. I’m going with the Broncos by 7 or more. P.S.- not a bad gig for Boise State with two trips to Hawaii in the same season. I’d finish second in the WAC for that.

To be continued…