Vermont and the Nutraloaf Incident

Dateline: Montpelier, Vermont

An AP story regarding a class action lawsuit brought by Vermont prison inmates evidences just how out of control litigation and wussification is in this country. According to the story, Vermont inmates through the Vermont “Prisoner’s Rights Office” are filing a class action lawsuit to prevent prisons from using Nutraloaf as punishment. Prisoners claim Nutraloaf is punishment and thus requires a formal disciplinary process.

What is Nutraloaf you ask? Thanks to Al Gore and the internets, there are recipes a plenty to be had. The Vermont recipe includes cubed whole wheat bread, nondairy cheese, raw carrots, spinach, seedless raisins, beans, vegetable oil, tomato paste, powdered milk and dehydrated potato flakes. The AP article didn’t cite the exact amounts for each ingredient (sorry). In case you want to make this little diddy at home, or are planning to commit a crime, the Maryland version is pretty similar:

• 6 slices whole wheat bread, finely chopped
• 4 ounces imitation cheddar cheese, finely grated
• 4 ounces raw carrots, finely grated
• 12 ounces spinach, canned, drained
• 2 cups dried Great Northern Beans, soaked, cooked and drained
• 4 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 6 ounces potato flakes, dehydrated
• 6 ounces tomato paste
• 8 ounces powdered skim milk
• 4 ounces raisins

Prisons have long since used differing versions of Nutraloaf (aka “gruel”) for behavior modification- mostly to address inmates who throw human waste, trays, or silverware at the prison staff.

I’ll let you ponder that for a moment: lawyers are defending convicted criminals that throw human waste at prison guards.

According to the article, Vermont Corrections Commissioner Rob Hofmann said “It (the Nutraloaf) tends to have the desired outcome. Once the offender relents, we stop with the Nutraloaf. That’s our goal, to protect our staff and not have them subject to behavior the average Vermonter would find incomprehensible.” Indeed.

Attorney Seth Lipshutz, representing the inmates, says “If it’s punishment, you’ve got to follow the rules. Even in prison you get a little bit of due process.”

Precedent appears to be on the side of the inmates. A federal judge ruled in 1988 that use of Nutraloaf by Michigan Corrections was in fact punishment and required a disciplinary hearing.

Legal precedent is all well and good, but the underlying judgment is flawed therefore I strike the ruling from the record. Let’s get something straight America: prisoners are in prison. They’ve broken the law, often multiple times, and now- and I hate to break the bad news to everyone- they’ve lost the right to throw waste, trays, and/or silverware at other people.

Here’s the Prisoner Bill of Rights according to us:

Prisoners have the right to a horizontal surface of some kind for sleeping and a yard where they can work out and sharpen their shanks for the next riot. They have the right to be reasonably protected from other inmates (the reasonability standard being as long as the staff can do so safely). In turn they should be expected to contribute positively to society by making license plates, participating in MSNBC doc-block specials, and whatnot.

End of memo

To think that convicted criminals should be given a hearing to determine whether or not they should have thrown human waste at Ted the Lunchroom Guard is disgusting. It’s evidence of country gone so far in the direction of political correctness as to eschew any level of common sense. Maybe if we didn’t coddle prisoners to such a degree, they might actually re-enter society rehabilitated.

To these attorneys and the continued wussification of America- we say piss off.

You’re welcome.