82 Going on 100

Alright, technically JoePa isn’t 82 until December 21st, but nonetheless… Joe Paterno signed a 3-year extension with Penn State University this week, likely in response to recruiting issues that they continue to encounter with the uncertainty of Paterno’s tenure.

The statement released to the public included the phrase that the university “…might reevaluate their circumstances and alter the arrangement by either shortening or extending its length as necessary.” Or not. Whatever. Way to be committal Nits.

Now that JoePa has a new hip and is part robot, he’s only a high school graduate away from 100. I agree that he should go out on his own terms, but I’m quite fatigued by the triennial retirement watch. I’m sure Penn State fans are as well.

The simple solution to handle the uncertainty while shoring up recruits from fleeing is to replace the timing language in JoePa’s contract with the folllowing:

Joe Paterno will remain as Head Coach of the Penn State football program until Tom Bradley pries the office keys from Paterno’s cold dead hands.

That should about cover it.

You’re welcome.