The Phoenix Board of Tourism sure has their work cut out for them. In addition to well-publicized foreclosure problems (Arizona #3 in the nation), Phoenix has been declared “the Kidnap for Ransom capital” of the United States. Police received 366 drug-related kidnap for ransom calls in 2008 and expect an equal number went unreported. Most if not all of the kidnappings involve gang-related activity and the drug trade, but the perception is bad nonetheless.

For that reason, we’d like to propose a couple travel and tourism slogans for Phoenix to help that city with their national reputation. Phoenixians (sp?) you can thank us later.

Mock-up #1

Mock-up #2

Mock-up #3

You’re welcome.

The American Issues Project has a new commercial that’s out railing on the free-spending Democrats and their fiscal experiment. We’d like to thank the dishonorable Senator Chuck Schumer for continuing to spout off and make commercials like this possible.

For all the eloquence that President Obama displays, his verbal prowess is bitch-slapped by people in his own party by at least a 2-1 margin. Schumer, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank, Barbara Boxer, and so many countless others- thank you for continuing to verbalize your arrogance and contempt for the American people time and time again. Enjoy:

You’re welcome.

So you think Obama’s got your back- everyone in the below $250k tax bracket. It’s all good. No new taxes is what you’re told and no new taxes is what you believe. Too bad for you “Joe the Linguist” (trademarked) is on the White House payroll. It’s all about semantics in the Obama era.

While income taxes haven’t been raised (yet) on families earning under $250k, there are two tax increases already passed which are going to impact many Americans, if not most.

The first is one aimed squarely at lower-income folks. Reports clearly show the correlation between lower incomes and higher percentages of smokers, and beginning April 1st, smokers will pay an additional 62 cents per pack federal tax on each and every pack of smokes they buy. If you use the accepted average that the typical smoker tokes one pack a day, that’s an added tax to those folks of $226 per year.

Doesn’t sound like a lot but that’s a car payment or approximately four digital converter boxes worth. That also doesn’t take into account what states and counties will levy on cigarettes (just wait, it’s coming). The states will be coming for alcohol too so get ready for that tax.

The second tax is much more stealthy. Obama’s cap and trade program for energy will levy substantial penalties on most energy suppliers in the U.S. and that cost will get passed on to consumers. You will see your utility bills rise, dramatically in some cases.

This one’s easy for the left to diffuse- just blame the oil and gas companies of greed and glut and that easily explains away the problem. But you’re smarter than that- and you know the truth because I just told you. Keep all that in mind when you head to the polls in 2010.

You’re welcome.

One million people can’t be wrong…

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Sifting through the soaring rhetoric of Obama’s State of the Union address that officially wasn’t the State of the Union, two things struck me right away.

First, Obama committed to curing cancer. I’d like to go on record as saying I’m in favor of this- good luck. As the body of words builds from various speeches, it becomes clearer and clearer that Obama’s speeches are made up entirely of promises he can’t/won’t keep and comments on goals that neither party disagrees about (though they disagree about how to get to the goal).

Second, Obama presented a little math word problem for those listening closely: subsidize standard of living for the welfare class and eliminate the upper income class and what do you get? Nothing but middle class. And that my friends is Socialism.

Mr. Obama also reiterated his goal of having the deficit by the end of his (first) term. Quite a lofty goal considering the exponential rate at which already porky government spending is increasing. He painted the target pretty clearly calling out families earning $250,000 or more per year. People in that category are going to get taxed back to the stone ages to balance out the deficit. And when they find places to hide their money from taxation, Bidenpalooza is going to come looking for folks in the $75k-$250k range to “be patriotic”. You might as well assume the position now.

You’re welcome.