Fantasy Filth

Despite what the title implies, if you’re looking for p*rn you’ve come to the wrong place. These are all the sweet nothings I’m whispering to the NFL players that destroyed my fantasy football weekend, feel free to leave yours in the comments…

A fantasy FU to the entire Tennessee Titan football team
You are a bunch of pathetic losers. Winless, you gave up 59 points to the New England Patriots and 54 fantasy points to Tom Brady, delivering a week 6 loss for me.

Following a bye last week the Titans decided to actually earn their salaries this week, choosing to shut down David Garrard and Mike Sims-Walker (who I played, 6.5 points between the two of them) while allowing Maurice Jones-Drew to run for the 5th best total in franchise history garnering 32.3 points (who my opponent played of course).

Tennessee Titans- you all suck and you should donate your salaries from the first six weeks to charity. Losers.

Another fantasy FU to Rex Ryan and the New York Jets
In the first Jets-Dolphins matchup in week 5, I assumed the Jets D and the defensive mind of Rex Ryan would shut down Ronnie Brown and the Wildcat (who I benched). The Jets of course did not shut down Ronnie Brown and he went off for 22 points.

Remembering that, I played Ronnie Brown with confidence this week, only to have the Jets D hold him to 29 total yards, good enough for a pathetic 2.9 points. Best of all, the Jets lost again giving up two special teams touchdowns and a Dolphin defensive touchdown. Congratulations Rex Ryan- you ruined my afternoon and still managed to lose. New York Jets- you are a bunch of losers.

A special fantasy FU to the Arizona Cardinals defense
With my defense on a bye, I picked up Arizona’s defense without hesitation. With a game against a winless Carolina Panther team on the docket led by interception machine Jake Delhomme, a 28+ point effort was sure to be on the way. Instead, the Cardinals got torched losing to the Panthers, and barely scratching out 15 points with some late return yardage. To the Arizona defense- you also are a bunch of losers and don’t deserve to be anywhere near the Super Bowl again; good thing you won’t be.

Good luck next week with your fantasy football matchups.