Ohio State and Penn State as cars

In preparation for the OSU-Penn State game this weekend, we’ve got some special programming to help get you ready. Kicking things off is a quick intro on the two teams. Leave your opinions in the comments.

Ohio State
This one’s too easy. Ohio State is a Hummer H2. Oversized, defensive in posture, will lose every time in a street race, prefers to simply run over top of other cars, room for plenty of coaches in the cabin (I’m talking to you OSU fans). Overpriced, gas guzzling, but still beats Michigan (hey oh!)

Penn State
Penn State is (of course) a Crown Victoria- the official car of the 70+ set. Bland styling, comfortable leather interior, heavy frame big enough to run over shrubs and fire hydrants or wherever the car gets steered, and a tape player to play the best of “Jock Jams, Volume I” on cassette. Makes frequent bathroom breaks on the open road. Not the kind of car you want to meet in a head on collision.

Occasionally Jay Paterno swaps out his old man’s Crown Vic for a police version with the souped up engine, suspension and brakes. Confused, JoePa eats some pasta, takes a nap and junior swaps the cars back.

Penn State is the early favorite (by 3.5).

You’re welcome.