Ten Questions - “It’s Always Sunny” edition

A special Ten (eight) Questions for you this week tributing one of the best (albeit little known and slightly raunchy) sitcoms on television- “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”.

It’s spotlight weekend for the JV squads bringing up the rear plus another Weis referendum and of course the final home game in the Shoe with the Big Ten Championship and a trip to the Rose Bowl on the line. Savor the flavor- a long cold winter lays ahead.

1. Is your cat (Bearcat) making too much noise all the time? Try Kitten Mittons:

Cincinnati gets a scrappy 7-2 West Virginia team coming into Nippert Stadium Friday night under the lights. These teams are pretty evenly matched which explains the 9.5 point spread (in favor of Cincy).

The Bearcats have rattled off consecutive wins against two 3-6 teams and a 4-5 UConn squad but will be tested against a West Virginia team that can do things on both sides of the ball. Cincinnati has given up over 150 yards on the ground to opposing teams five times so that obviously bodes well for West Virginia’s hope to get Noel Devine in a position to control the game.

Cincinnati can score quickly and uses the pass to set up the run, so if West Virginia can make a couple plays defensively in the passing game, the momentum could shift. Cincinnati has been very good in the turnover department this year (3rd nationally), the Mountaineers not so much (95th nationally). That will be a key to watch Friday night.

UC Coach Brian Kelly swears he doesn’t have a quarterback controversy, which is a true statement until it turns into a quarterback contoversy. With former Heisman candidate Tony Pike and his flimsy humerus (humeri?) returning from injury and the next coming of Tim Tebow in Zach Collaros starting, a good thing can turn into a bad thing in just a few turnovers.

And speaking of Zach Collaros, I’ve seen him in person and he is the real deal and could very well be the next Tim Tebow, but he’s bound to hit some growing pains eventually. But just in case, children of the third world, keep an eye on your foreskin.

I don’t think Cincinnati is going to win out against their remaining schedule but I don’t think they’re going to lose at home tonight. Bearcats by 5.

2. Mojito me please.

Refreshing, unexpected, sweet, and loaded with Rum. That’s what Ohio State’s win over Penn State was last week.

This week a battered and bruised Iowa team comes into Columbus. They’re not dead yet though. The Hawkeye defense should keep Iowa in the game, at least for a half. Unlike Penn State last week, Iowa plays a more conservative defensive scheme rarely blitzing and preferring to keep things in front of them; the very definition of bend but don’t break. Ohio State was able to take advantage of Penn State’s aggressiveness last week and will have to do things differently this week.

By dropping more in coverage, Iowa will provide tighter spots for Terrelle to throw into, something he’ll have to be very careful with. Another test of TP’s growing maturity will come against a patient, well-coached and disciplined defense. If the Offensive Line can play well and get the running game going, things will go smoothly for the offense. If the running game doesn’t go anywhere, it could be bumpy for the home team.

On offense, Iowa loses some intangibles without Rick Stanzi but should net out about the same. Stanzi has thrown 14 interceptions on the year vs. only 15 touchdowns- chances are redshirt freshman James Vandenberg can match those numbers. What they’ll miss is Stanzi’s ability to make clutch throws on 3rd downs.

Iowa has several excellent pass-catching options in Derrell Johnson-Koulianos, Marvin McNutt, and the best Tight End in the Big Ten- Tony Moeaki. McNutt is a converted QB and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him lined up in the Wildcat Saturday both running and passing out of that. Other than that, Moeaki is the key for Iowa. It will be critical for Homan and/or Rolle to stay with Moeaki and keep him from breaking out.

Iowa uses the run to set up the pass and considering they don’t have much of a running game and they’re facing Ohio State’s 3rd best nationally run defense, it doesn’t project well for Team Ferentz. The real problem for Iowa, as is the case for every team Ohio State faces, is dealing with the Buckeye Defensive Line. Northwestern Defensive End Corey Wootton was in the backfield all game long last week against the Hawkeyes. Unfortunately for Iowa, Ohio State has 8 Corey Woottons. Advantage Ohio State.

Ohio State is favored by 16.5 which is a big number, even the way the Bucks have played lately. With the loss to Purdue still fresh, I don’t expect the Buckeyes to take Iowa lightly. I like Ohio State by 10 at home.

3. Splitting minimum wage.

Boise State and TCU are fighting over the BCS at-large spot this week; why not let them both play and split the payout?

TCU has the toughest test with a very good Utah team coming in. TCU is favored by 20 which tells you all you need to know about how good Vegas thinks TCU is. I like TCU to win.

Boise State has 7-3 potato-loving Idaho coming into town to challenge the blue turf. Boise State is favored by 31.5 so consider it a monumental upset if Idaho has it close at halftime.

4. USC’s Spin Class.

Stanford is going to do their best to put on some Stevie Winwood during USC’s spin class this weekend. Stanford and tailback Toby Gerhart have the exact type of physical running game that has given USC trouble in the past. I have no idea where USC’s psyche is after getting blown out by Oregon and barely surviving against Arizona State last week but I know exactly where Stanford’s psyche is- time to kick big brother in the nuts. USC is favored by 10.5.

5. Martina Martinez = Michigan; Green Man = Wisconsin

This one’s pretty simple- Wisconsin is playing to keep their place in a tie for 2nd place in the Big Ten. Michigan is fighting for their program, a bowl game, and potentially RichRod’s job. Rumors about QB Denard Robinson starting or at least playing more mean Michigan is searching for answers on both offense and defense.

With Wisconsin’s ability to run the ball with John Clay and control the clock, and Michigan’s ability to yield gobs of yards on defense, Michigan will need to score quickly because they won’t see the ball much.

Wisconsin is favored by 8.5 and I like them to win.

6. Come out blasting.

Come out blasting. That’s the game plan for all four teams in Northwestern @ Illinois and Michigan State @ Purdue Saturday. All but Northwestern are fighting for bowl eligibility and now’s the time to either show up and play or sit at home for the Holidays, swag-bag-less.

As proof that Vegas has a sense of humor, Illinois is favored by 4.5 and Michigan State is favored by 2.5 at Purdue. I like Illinois and Michigan State to win.

7. Threat level in Eugene this weekend: Yellow.

Or is it orange? Oregon knows Rose Bowl glory awaits if they can win out against their remaining schedule of Arizona State, @ Arizona, vs. Oregon State. The Sun Devils nearly got USC this week but won’t be so lucky this week. It will be interesting to see how the Ducks balance the two LaRunning Backs going forward (LaMichael James and LeGarrette Blount). Oregon is favored by 18.

8. Elbows and Knees; Steve Spurrier = Dee in the yellow pantsuit.

With all the complaining about Navy’s cut-blocking last week, Notre Dame’s coaching staff might do well to go with the “elbows and knees” philosophy this week @ Pittsburgh. If they don’t, Pittsburgh freshman Running Back Dion Lewis will run all over them.

Pittsburgh is also #1 in the nation in sacks so don’t expect Jimmy Clausen to have much time to throw the ball, not that Pittsburgh will allow them to have the ball very often.

Despite all this, Pittsburgh is only favored by 7 at home so maybe Vegas knows something I don’t. Wannstache is bound to do something to cause his team some points, still I like Pitt to win and speed up the spiral for Charlie Weis.

Steve Spurrier is so clearly Dee in the yellow pants suit. Playing with an under-talented team and harboring hopes that coaching can fix everything. In comes Tim Tebow and Florida to claim their Heisman and finally start the Gator locomotive on the way to Pasadena.

As much as I’d like to pick South Carolina at home in the upset, I’ve seen them play too much this year and know that offensively they simply can’t be counted to do anything except go three and out and raise Spurrier’s blood pressure. Gators are favored by 17; they win by 20+.

Go Buckeyes.