Nothing should bring in the FCC quicker than the intersection of these two phrases: “Martha Stewart” and “pole dancing”. Well, not really pole dancing, more like wriggling uncomfortably in close proximity to a pole.

I ask you NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell- which is more offensive? Martha on the pole or OchoCinco?

May God help us all.

Apparently Brett Favre is a big American Idol fan. I don’t watch the Idol but I understand this song has become a viral sensation. Here’s Brett’s version:

…and here’s the original:

…and finally, if you didn’t see Favre’s performance this weekend, you missed one for the ages, including this sick 47-yard touchdown pass. A dime to Sidney Rice in the face of heavy pressure. The old man still has it.

You’re welcome.

Ohio State - 70
Purdue - 66

How’s that taste Boilermakers? Consider Tuesday night a little payback for the football win this season.

Down by 13 and with a little over 7 minutes to go, unranked and reeling Ohio State went into West Lafayette and knocked off one-loss and 6th-ranked Purdue.

The Buckeyes were led by all-everything Evan Turner and his 32 points. If there’s a more valuable player in college basketball than Turner, I don’t know who it is; maybe John Wall at Kentucky.

And the Buckeyes got the win despite lanky white figurine Robbie Hummel nailing 8 first half 3-pointers for Purdue. The eight 3-pointers was a Purdue record, not for a half but for an entire game.

The win doesn’t really equal the damage inflicted from the Purdue football team, but it certainly helps heal the wound. Boilermaker fans- suck on that.

You’re welcome.

From SNL this weekend, here’s a little racial sensitivity training with Charles Barkley. Enjoy:

Houston Yates 170, Houston Lee 35

That was the score for a high school basketball game in Texas. I wouldn’t expect a state like Texas to have a mercy rule for high school basketball but a 135-point win doesn’t belong in high school basketball. It was 100-12 at the half. Blame it on scheduling, blame it on this coach, either way, it doesn’t belong.

I love my Bucks

I’m looking forward to re-watching the Rose Bowl to break down what went down in Pasadena (unlike the last few bowl games), but the bottom line is that Ohio State made the plays when they needed to and Oregon didn’t.

Three stunners stay with me as I sit awash in the post-Rose-Bowl-glow.

First and foremost was how Ohio State came out passing. 37 passing attempts is not something I thought would have been anywhere near the realm of possibility. In my mind, the gameplan was very obvious- ball control run game on offense eventually wearing down a smaller defense and bend but don’t break keep-it-in-front-of-you defense. Maybe the obvious nature of the offensive opportunity was the point and why Jim Tressel and his staff remain smarter than I am, at least when it comes to football.

The gameplan is one thing, but Pryor’s execution of the gameplan was tremendous. He still underthrows some balls but his pocket presence showed marked improvement, particularly his feel for when to run and when to throw. He’s just scratching the surface and assuming his progression takes a linear path, big things are in store for 2010 and 2011.

The second stunner was Ohio State’s special teams. Ohio State’s kick coverage and kick return game was horrible, borderline game changing and not in a good way.

Oregon started six of their ten drives from their own 38 yard line or better. Ohio State started seven of their eleven drives at their own 20 yard line or worse.

Those are stunning statistics when you consider that Ohio State held Oregon to only 17 points. If you told me before the game that Oregon would spend most of the game in Ohio State territory and the Buckeyes would still win, I’d have called you a liar and returned the Christmas gift I bought for you.

And speaking of the defense, the third stunner is the Ohio State D. Not only did Ohio State not allow a single 100-yard rusher for yet another game, but the defense shut down Masoli’s ability to pass and contributed to the Rose Bowl record 42-to-18 minute time of possession advantage.

You can certainly argue that had LaMichael James been able to play the entire game (he missed part in the locker room for x-rays) he might have been able to go over 100 yards, but he didn’t. He finished with 70 yards on 15 carries for a solid 4.0 ypc average.

Jim Heacock is long overdue to be mentioned by college football analysts along with the best defensive minds in the business. The personnel they recruit, the scheme, and the execution puts the Ohio State defense in the top 10 every year.

By the same token, Luke Fickel deserves similar recognition. He’s obviously got coaching chops and having spent several years now getting Tresselized and listening to Fickel in interviews, he’s due for some head coaching opportunities. It will hurt to lose him but he deserves whatever he ends up getting.

The rest of the Rose Bowl is all upside for the Buckeyes- stopping the bowl game losing streak, finding an offensive identity, improving the national perception of the Big Ten, building momentum for next year, and on and on.

Time will tell how good the ‘10 Buckeyes will be, the return of Gibson and Heyward would be a huge lift, but this is clearly a pre-season top five team next year with Miami, Michigan and Penn State at home and only road games at Wisconsin and Iowa as tough tests.

More to follow.