In case you need to pick up a last minute gift, here’s a great idea from Jimmy Kimmel (HT to RLong). Merry Christmas to you and yours from the Red Renee global empire.

You’re welcome.

I can’t count how many times I’ve been sitting on the couch in my Snuggie, with the remote in one hand and a crackpipe in the other, and I thought to myself- when are they going to make a stylish Snuggie I can wear to business functions?

Ask and I shall receive…Enjoy:

Doing some more t-shirt shopping and came across this gem. Like several before, this one can be purchased at bustedtees.com. It’s perfect for a night on the town. Enjoy:

Gotta love the ingenuity of facial-hair wearing Americans. This looks to be real, or at the very least an elaborate and entertaining hoax. And it’s not the least bit creepy; nope; not a bit.

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Time for some more t-shirt shopping. I know you’re going to like this one if you played the game “Oregon Trail” as a kid. Original can be found here.

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Installment two of looking for a new t-shirt. This one is classic for sure- you can buy it at Bustedtees.com.

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I’m in the market for some new tees. My favorite t-shirt, golden boy (Seinfeld reference) was damaged in a horrible mulching accident and won’t be the same again. The rest of my tees are pretty sad- it was really golden boy and everyone else. Some friends got me a Super Mario tee for my birthday but it’s time to freshen up the backups.

With that in mind, here’s my t-shirt of the week. Let me know if I should make the purchase. If you want to buy one of your own, click the link (bustedtees.com).

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This commercial is never acceptable, not even for a Stanley Steemer ad.

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Definitely one of the better Shamwow parodies, as seen over at funnyordie.com. Happy Wednesday to you. Enjoy:

From Sportsbybrooks.com, we bring you the next chain in the ultra-specialized “wings & boobs” restaurant niche. Read on for the story; here’s the news video:

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Here’s the follow up to the absolutely brilliant Heineken “walk-in fridge” commercial. Thanks to Mark O. for spotting it. Happy Friday to all.

The next in the Charles Barkley - D Wade commercials, this one is an instant classic. Line of the ad- “Hang up the phone Barkley, I’m taking you to the hole”. Classic. Enjoy:

This past December, we wrote about the jiggly “iBoobs” app for iPhone that Apple pulled of the virtual shelf. Turns out Apple didn’t learn from that experience and their filtering department is still asleep at the wheel.

Another app was pulled this week- this one called “baby shaker”. The gist of the app was that the baby cries, you shake your iPhone and eventually the baby goes to sleep. Congrats to Apple for pulling the app but shame on them for letting it hit the streets in the first place.

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I know this is from awhile back but really, does drawing humor from idiots ever grow old? I think we both know the answer to that question. Enjoy:

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This commercial is absolutely unconscionable. Stunning. Have you seen it?

It’s like the tobacco people running a campaign saying “it’s cool- just smoke a few”. Or the lead paint people saying “just don’t use it in the kids’ rooms”. Or the asbestos people saying “just do you your breathing outside you freaking whiners”.

While there seems to be enough conflicting evidence for the government to not ban high fructose corn syrup all together, there’s enough negative evidence to lead reasonable minds toward avoidance and certainly for anyone of proper ethics, regardless of whether they work for the corn industry or not, to not put these ads on television.

For the simple reason that HFCS isn’t naturally occurring is reason enough for me to avoid it. Add to it the dramatic links to obesity, links to increased triglyceride levels, and links to diabetes. All of that adds up to do what you can to avoid you or your children consuming it, not guilt your moron friends into drinking it at a birthday party.

For a succinct primer on why to avoid, click here. For a list (not verified) of products that contain HFCS, click here.

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“the Oregon Urology Institute, in Eugene, Ore., last year began marketing tourney-timed vasectomies, even running ads on a local sports radio station urging guys to “lower their seed for the tournament.” Men who signed up got a free pizza and a free bag of frozen peas.” Read on for more.

Good luck with your picks this year. Thanks to Andy for the find.

How awesome is this? We all know that they’ve been subliminally tricking Americans into buying their cars and electronic gadgets and stuff for years, but now they’ve put their scientific greatness to work for the betterment of mankind…or should I say womankind…which in turn absolutely benefits mankind.

A scientist in Japan claims he can now enlarge a woman’s breasts, not with surgery or herbal supplements, but with a cell phone ring tone! Check out the story and be sure to watch the video.

I realize that 3 cm is only a little more than an inch, but that was in just 10 days! If these results continue that would equate to over 43 inches in a year. Now, Mrs. Mark O already had a very nice figure, and 43 more inches would put her in Guinness World Record range, but used in moderation I would think this science could put Dr. 90210 out of business! The only downside…the ring tone is really hard to listen to…kind of like bad teenage basement garage band thrash. Oh well, I guess sacrifices must be made in the interest of science.

(editor’s note: I received the following note from Mrs. Mark O.: maybe he can come up with a ringtone that makes men feel like cleaning toilets.)

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I know you’ve seen them; you’ve probably bought them. They’re the light bulbs with the “2-year guarantee” on the box. To the manufacturers of these light bulbs- I say piss off.

The bulbs don’t last two years. I’m ecstatic if they last one. It’s all just a marketing ploy to get you to spend three times as much on a stupid light bulb.

I typically buy these for the outside fixtures- the ones that are a pain to replace- the coach lights and the light post light. You have to get out the screw driver and the ladder, take apart the fixture, not drop the little screws in the grass, not drop the glass top of the fixture, and then put the thing back together, all while not falling off the ladder and either providing laughter for your neighbors or breaking something.

Then the bulb burns out after 10 months and I’m left with the bitterness of knowing I’ve got to replace the “fancy bulb” and that there’s no way in hell I’m going to find the time to seek justice on the “2-year warranty”. Buried under thousands of metaphorical piles is the Lowe’s receipt with the evidence of the light bulb purchase. Even if I did take the time to find the receipt, you have to send a letter with a copy of the receipt and then after 8-12 weeks processing, the check for $8 finally arrives. By then Team Pelosi will have found a way to tax refunds and the $8 check would only net out to about $4.50.

No more fancy light bulbs; I’m done with you.

I’m buying the $1.39 bulbs from here on out. Will they last more than two months? I don’t give a shit.

The light bulbs represent the problem with manufacturers and retailers today- they all want you to have a relationship with them. Between all the products that ask/force you to register with them and retailers that force you to carry their “loyalty cards”- it’s too much I say.

I don’t want a relationship- I want the best products at the best prices and I’ll go wherever I can to get that. I’m looking for a casual shopping experience- not a long-term retail commitment.

The other day I had to download software and register my APC battery backup Seriously- all for a piece of backup hardware. It even came with a USB cable so I could “monitor the battery status”.

Check it out Mr. Battery Backup- here’s how this shit is supposed to go down. The power goes out; you back my shit up. End of relationship.

Don’t spam me. Don’t take up space on my hard disk. Don’t put a shortcut on my desktop. Don’t put your files in my Startup menu. We’re keeping it casual Mr. Battery Backup.

And I’m done with loyalty cards. The grocery card, the sporting goods store card, the Barnes & Noble card, the Hallmark card, and on and on and on. I can’t take it anymore.

Here’s how it’s going to go down Ms. Retail Store: I’m going to walk in the front door. If I see something I like, I’m going to buy it. You’re going to give me the best price you can for it. End of transaction. End of relationship. Seriously. You don’t complete me. Go away. I’m not calling tomorrow. It’s over.

You’re welcome.

I wish this commercial would just go away. Further proof that Chris Berman is the baby-boomer Screech.

“Angie’s List” folks seem so sweet- until this commercial where they have a customer testimonial. You might assume the bleep is to protect the name of the actual contractor; I prefer to assume it’s to mask cursing. For fun on a Monday, use the commercial as a mad lib with your friends and co-workers. Go back and forth and the first person to run out of a swear word to use loses. Enjoy!

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Not sure about what to give your significant other for Valentine’s Day? Head on over to the Republican National Committee website and dial up a personal note for your loved one. There are 12 different cards to choose from that you can personalize with your own message. Here are our favorite three:

In case you still have a little George Bush hate in you, click here.

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I don’t know how much this costs or where to get one but I MUST HAVE ONE OF THESE…NOW!

Side note…Is it just me or does it look like the lake this guy’s in is in a trailer park?

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Another classic Onion.com video. “Nothing’s more simple than a single giant button”. Good stuff.

Enjoy:

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Two links for you tonight. The first link is a fantastic website if you’re a big “Black Friday” after-Thanksgiving shopper. Somehow these blokes have gotten ahold of bootleg advance copies of the ads from various retailers.

Second a hilarious post at holytaco.com about gym locker room etiquette- good find by Mark O.

Enjoy.

We’re looking out for your health today (don’t expect it to continue) with some excerpts from MSN.com and Men’s Health.

They’ve put together several articles about things you shouldn’t eat, and for somebody like me who travels often, it’s helpful. Most of this is pretty obvious stuff but let’s be honest, it doesn’t hurt to state the obvious, especially for men.

First up is a breakfast choice should you find yourself at Hardee’s (east coast equivalent of Carl’s Jr. for all you west coast gang-bangers). If you’re at Hardee’s in the a.m., don’t go for the “Monster Biscuit”.

The Monster Biscuit has 710 calories, 51 grams of fat, and is the sodium equivalent of six orders of large french fries (according to the website).

If you’re at Denny’s with your kids, don’t let them order the “Big Dipper French Toastix (with margarine and syrup)”. This bad boy has 770 calories and the fat equivalent of 23 chicken McNuggets. Damn.

In probably the most obvious of any of these, the Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll isn’t good for you.

I admit, I’ve tried to rationalize getting the Cinnabon “mini’s” either in the mall or the airport, but whoah nelly these are hefty. 813 calories, 32 grams of fat, and a fun fact for sure- the caloric equivalent of 7 bowls of Froot Loops.

The article cites the worst breakfast in America as the Bob Evans Stacked and Stuffed Caramel Banana Pecan Hotcakes. This bad boy rings in at 1,543 calories, 77 grams of fat, the saturated fat equivalent of 26 strips of bacon and the sugar equivalent of 12 chocolate chip cookies. You might as well curl up in the fetal position right there in the Bob Evans booth and sleep the rest of the day off.

Several other items of note from some of their related articles. First, and this is for my sister-in-law, the worst “healthy” drink goes to Glaceau VitaminWater. This beauty has almost as many calories and grams of sugar as a can of Coke.

Pumpkin = good. Muffins = gooooooood. Panera’s Pumpkin Muffin = Not so good. This delightful treat has 530 calories and a whopping 47 grams of sugar. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Cinnamon Crunch bagels probably aren’t that good for you either (damn you cinnamon crunch bagel!).

Staying with Panera, the award for “The Most Sugar-Packed Breakfast Pastry” goes to Panera’s Cobblestone Sweet Roll. Tipping the scales at 590 calories and 61 grams of sugar, you might want to skip the frozen coffee on the side.

Speaking of frozen coffee drinks- Cosi’s 24 ounce Gigante Double Oh! Artic has 1,033 calories and 35 grams of fat. Fortunately my beloved IC Mocha at Panera “only” has 670 calories and 28 grams of fat.

For appetizers at Chili’s, skip the “Awesome Blossom”. Even if you share this with others, its’ got 2,710 calories and the fat equivalent of 67 slices of bacon!!

Finally, and saving the best/worst for last, should you find yourself at Uno Chicago Grill do not order the Mega-Sized Deep Dish Sundae.

This dessert (all four servings of it) includes a staggering 2,800 calories and 272 grams of sugar.

If you’re looking for good things to eat, head to this article for the 125 healthiest supermarket foods in America.

You’re welcome.